Interview: Matt Roberts

Since I had such a great time interviewing the amazing Kristen Stewart of Adventureland fame, which can be read here, I thought I’d give another interview, but this time to somebody who isn’t a statue.

With that said, here is author and historical education writer Matt Roberts! Welcome!

Matt Roberts: Thank you for having me!
Beefy: So, you’re a writer…
MR: That’s right.
BF: I’m writing this interview down right now. Does that qualify me?
MR: Absolutely.
BF: Great. So, you’ve got a book out called Hand One Is Dealt. Your thoughts?
MR: I do have a book out and that is the name of it.
BF: Awesome. When do you find the time to write?
MR: Whenever I’m not doing something else.
BF: Interesting. What’s your favorite pizza?
MR: Cooked.
BF: Indeed. How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
MR: Seven.
BF: Seven? Seven what?
MR: Twelve.
BF: You’re not making any sense.
MR: Blue.
BF: Have any projects lined up?
MR: I do. I was a part of the awesome 13 Stories Til Halloween last year, and they’ve just asked me to be a part of it again this year, so that’s what I’m going to be working on in the coming days. After that I’m going to do my damnedest to get my next book finished, which I wrote back in 2012.
BF: I’m sorry, what?
MR: I do. I was a part of the awesome 13 Stories Til Halloween last year, and they’ve just asked me to be a part of it again this year, so that’s what I’m going to be working on in the coming days. After that I’m going to do my damnedest to get my next book finished, which I wrote back in 2012.
BF: What’s that about?
MR: Some genius pervert invents a device to clone horny women and then he sleeps with them, all while partying and smoking weed.
BF: That sounds fucking amazing.
MR: Yeah, it’s a children’s book.
BF: Can you dig it?
MR: Yes. Yes I can dig it.
BF: What is your biggest pet peeve?
MR: I don’t know. To think of something right now to give you an answer, I hate it when people call me you.
BF: I get that shit all the time. People calling me you. I’m not you, I’m Beefy.
MR: I mean, I get it. I’m a fat guy, so maybe that’s why they call me Beefy.
BF: That shit pisses me off. Why do we both have our own names if people are just going to call us whatever the fuck they want?
MR: Got me.
BF:
MR:
BF:
MR:
BF:
So your book that you just described, does it contain gratuitous sex?
MR: Tons. It’s very explicit. A buddy of mine who proofread it for me initially gave me some awesome feedback, and he said to him it’s like that 50 Shades Of Grey book, only for men. And with much better sex scenes.
BF: That shouldn’t be hard to do.
MR: It wasn’t. I just described all of the sex I’ve ever had. You know, like, in my dreams.
BF: Of course. So why sex? Are you into those erotic books?
MR: Not really, no. Although I have written a couple of those types of stories and tried to get them published as erotic fiction. I have no idea why.
BF: Me either.
MR: One day, maybe, I’ll finish them and get them published. We’ll see.
BF: Maybe.
MR: Maybe.
BF: Any final thoughts?
MR: Yes.
BF: Great! Thanks for stopping by and donating your precious time to this terrible interview!
MR: Thanks for having me!
BF: Whatever.

For more on Matt and his books, check out his website at officialmattroberts.com. That’s it for now!

Spider-Woman Is Hot

Holy shit, everyone’s freaking out about Spider-Woman’s ass! They’re just jealous, really, because she has a nice ass. Partake.

Look at that ass! Source

Look at that ass! Source

I really don’t have much more to add to this topic than what Maddox already said about it. I mean really, if you don’t like it, don’t buy it.

But that’s not good enough for those people who just want to be pissed about something. The thing about this that I don’t get is, have all of those people been blind to the women in comic books thus far? Apparently, and that is why I also feel that these idiots aren’t comic book readers at all, or they would have been complaining about this shit for a long time.
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Jennifer Lawrence Nude!

For those of you who follow celebrity lives, I’m talking about “J-Law” as she’s better known. One of the more beautiful actresses out today, she’s been in my spank bank since I first saw her. But more importantly, she’s everywhere now thanks to her agent getting her the perfect roles, such as “Katniss” in The Hunger Games movies.

The big news out now is, some hacker released a ton of nude pictures of hot celebrity women, and Jennifer Lawrence was one of them. Some of the celebs who had this happen to them have come out and said the pictures of them that were leaked weren’t real, but some of the others are.

Regardless, this happens every now and then, whether it’s a sex tape or nude pictures, and everyone gets crazy. The first one to pop into my head was Kat Dennings, who had nude photos of herself leaked a couple years ago. But there have been many.

Apparently the hacker or hackers who did this current leak also claim to have a sex tape featuring Jennifer Lawrence and they’ll be releasing it soon. It has gotten so bad that the FBI are now investigating and articles are being written by the likes of Forbes.
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Daily Prompt: Nightmare Job

In honor of Labor Day in North America, tell us what’s the one job you could never imagine yourself doing.

Jizz mopper.

Walgreens Update

Original Post 8/19:
I reported here a while back about the Walgreens down the street from me and how some drunken idiot drove his SUV through the store trashing the place.

I also said how the whole thing is suspicious and how I think there’s something more going on with it. Nobody believed me. Well, I’ve watched enough episodes of Psych to know when something looks strange, and this whole scenario looks strange.

The driver just happened to speed over the curb and immediately squeeze his SUV between a big brick sign and a bush, not hitting either, and drive right through the glass doors into the store. Hmmm.

That was back in July, as it happened the night after the fourth. Like, two and a half hours after the fourth was over. The guy was still drunk from his firework partying.

Guess what. The store still isn’t open. Guess what. The signs have all been removed from the building. It’s not going to be reopened.
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