Radioactive Animals

Making headlines now is a story about a glowing turtle that was just discovered in the water of the Solomon Islands.

We just now discovered this bright bastard. Good job, science. Source

We just now discovered this bright bastard. Good job, science. Source

The turtle, a biofluorescent reptile, is the first reptile found that glows. Other things glow, such as coral, fish, sharks, and ooze. So far no humans are capable of glowing. Well, shit.

What gets me is, we’re just now discovering this turtle. And it fucking glows. How hard is it to find something that literally broadcasts that it is there? Never mind finding new and exciting creatures at the bottom of the sea, we’re still finding shit floating around near the surface that we didn’t know existed.

Amazing. We know more about outer space than we do our own oceans. I think this has to do with all of the pollution bullshit going into our waters. Remember that nuclear reactor in Japan that lost its shit back in 2011? Yeah, well Fukushima (roughly translated “fucking your shit up”) is still causing issues. And quite possibly making sea life glow in the dark.
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Beefy Ecard: Hello Fall


Tipping In New Jersey

There’s a story going around about a waitress in New Jersey who wasn’t just stiffed on an 8-person $112 check…


… she was left a nice little message as well.

This is unacceptable. If you have an issue waiting that long for food, you talk to the manager and get some money taken off of your bill. If the waitress was telling the table the entire time about how long it would take on the food and there was no issue up to that point, then there’s no issue at all, period.

It’s not like the waitress was also cooking the food, in which case, you’d have to expect an hour wait time while she does both jobs at once. Since she’s obviously not cooking the food, then how can you hate on her for the wait time?

People who do this kind of shit are going to find whatever excuse they can to not tip. I used to be a server and I had tables like this all the time. They knew going out they weren’t going to tip. They never tip. And most of the time they run the server to death. These are the people who need to never leave the house.

Roller Coaster Deaths

Too soon? Not nearly soon enough. Recently (like, yesterday) a man was at Cedar Point in Ohio. While on a roller coaster, his belongings fell out of his pocket. When he got off the ride, he told nobody about it, scaled the restricted fence around the ride, looked for his shit, and was hit by the coaster which was still in operation, killed instantly.

He deserved what he got because he was a dumbass.


The sad thing is, this happens all the time.
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Scared The Shit Out Of Him

Tonight my wife and I went to her cousin’s place for dinner, and we took our little Redd dog. After hanging out for a while, he kept bothering me and bothering me, so I decided to take him outside. I grabbed his leash, which we almost never use cause he never runs off, put it on him, and we headed outside.

The cousin lives in an apartment building, and the people who live there and around there are a special kind of nasty. My wife and I have seen used condoms on the sidewalk near the front door to the building, and a mentally handicapped (not retarded, just mental) woman sits out on the main steps, begging people for cigarettes and playing with her beef curtains for everyone to see in broad daylight. Including all the kids that live around there.

Redd and I got outside and he began sniffing around in the grass alongside the building. We worked our way up to the back of the building where the tiny parking lot is when I looked down and saw a dirty, used up men’s disposable shaving razor lying in the grass.

I bent over to pick it up, cursing the dirty fucks who live there (because again, kids) and I felt the leash tighten in my hand. I looked up to see Redd stretching forward to sniff at a cat who was not only his size, but had his back arched up and didn’t look too happy.

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