Tony Williams Is Not A Saint

If you didn’t see it on TV like I did, you may have at least heard by now about a New Orleans Saints fan, named Tony Williams, who stole a football being given to a woman Bengals fan by one of the Cincinnati Bengals, Jermaine Gresham, after he scored a touchdown.

The whole incident was caught on video as it happened. Jermaine ran to the stands and tossed the touchdown football to a woman who was wearing a Bengals jersey. Since the game was taking place in New Orleans, the Bengals fans stood out, especially the woman wearing the jersey, as she was quite a cutie.

Jermaine tossed the ball to her, but a giant Saints fan sitting right next to where she was standing stood up and snatched the football out of her hands, almost striking her in the face with an elbow. He was twice her size. He immediately sat down and placed the ball under his right arm, while a man sitting next to him, probably a buddy of his, seemed to laugh about the incident, as did a man sitting behind him.

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“We have to love each other. You hear me? It’s up to us.”


You know, I’ve said it time and time again. I don’t trust cops. This is another reason why. This is truly disgusting. I know good cops are out there, but there aren’t enough of them. What year is this? Why are we still dealing with this crap? I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

Originally posted on King of States!:

My friend-who-I don’t-keep-in-touch-with-as-much-as-I-should Charmaine Chua posted this story on Facebook earlier today. I read it, threw up in my mouth a little, read it again, and threw up a little more.

I asked her if I could share it. At the risk of causing you to throw up in your mouth as well, here it is.

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Taylor Swift Is A Big Stupid Head

I should be using this time to do something more productive, like mow my driveway or wash my roof. Instead, I’m caught reading an article as to why Taylor Swift pulled her music from Spotify.

Let’s get two things straight.

1) I do not use Spotify, so I really don’t give much of a fuck who they play.
2) I don’t listen to Taylor Swift, so I really don’t give much of a fuck where her music is played.

A friend of mine posted that story I just linked to on Facebook and said, “And look there someone finally said it out loud!!!”

Well, actually people have been saying it for quite a while. Jimmy Buffett recently went up against the founder of Spotify and told him he needs to pay out more money to the artists he plays. I wrote an article about it.

Like I said in that article, the labels are the ones who get all the money. If Taylor has an issue with how much Spotify pays, she should take it up with her label, Big Machine.
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Renee Zellweger Changed Her Face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How about who gives a shit? Recently, for those of you who really don’t give a fuck and have no idea what happened, Renee Zellweger appeared somewhere looking quite different than how she’s looked up to that point. And the internet completely lost their shit. As if nothing else was going on. As if no celebrity ever had unnecessary plastic surgery. It was as if a whole lot of people had a bet as to what celebrity would never get work done, and Renee was the ringer.

Here she is, beautiful (L) and beautiful (R).

Here she is, beautiful (L) and beautiful (R).

The website/news organization that means absolutely nothing, TMZ, has really enjoyed themselves over this news. Check out these two stories that I unfortunately had to go to their site and sift through tons of bullshit to find…

Renee Zellweger You Look… LIKE SOMEONE ELSE
Hey TMZ, isn’t that the fucking point of plastic surgery for celebrities? They don’t like looking like themselves, so they go under the knife to look like some other them, or someone else. They make millions of dollars by being someone else in their movies and TV shows, they might as well spend that money to become someone else in real life. Although I don’t think there is such a thing in Hollywood as “real life.”
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There Will Be A Tetris Movie

No, this isn’t a joke. I mean, it IS a joke, I’m fucking laughing. But there will seriously be a Tetris movie in the near future. A live action one at that. And by “live action” I mean “99% CGI.”

“Brands are the new stars of Hollywood,” Threshold Entertainment’s Larry Kasanoff says. “We have a story behind ‘Tetris’ which makes it a much more imaginative thing.”

First, brands are the new stars of Hollywood? Sure, if you consider all of the cheap, shameless advertising products get in every film nowadays. Reboots are the new stars, you asshat. In other words, movies from 30 years ago are the new stars.

Second, there better be a story behind the movie, because the game you’re adapting the movie from HAS NO FUCKING STORY. None. There’s no story in place at all. You drop blocks and make solid lines. That’s it. If I ever thought Hollywood had run out of ideas, I was completely wrong, because NOW they’ve fucking run out of ideas.

I’m a writer and I can’t possibly fathom any story that would make sense with Tetris involved unless it was The Wizard 2, or Tetris isn’t the main character or story. There’s no way this is going to be good. I can imagine a movie about something having nothing to do with Tetris or video games in general, and one person walks by an open door and someone is in that room playing the game.
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