Movie Review: Jurassic World

What movie do you think of when I lay it out like this…

Rich dude opens a theme park on an island to showcase cloned dinosaurs to the world. Experts say things will go horribly wrong, rich dude says whatevs, and then things go horribly wrong. Dinosaurs escape their fences and start eating people. Two kids are in the hands of a guy who is saving the entire park from the dinosaurs. In the end there’s an epic battle between Raptors and a Rex and the park is shut down.


Jurassic Park? Sure, and its current sequel, Jurassic World, which has broken worldwide records for money made. The two movies are basically the same damn story which has people calling this a reboot when it is clearly a sequel. Despite that, a lot of people are also calling it a crappy movie, which it was.

I really didn’t care for it at all.
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The Rainbow White House



Beefy Ecards: Racism


The Price Of Being Nice

The company I work for has a rewards program, because who the fuck doesn’t nowadays, amirite? This rewards program started sometime around 2004. I was delivering pizzas then for another company than the one I recently left, when it started. Gas was around $4 a gallon here (it’s currently around $2.70) and everyone was pissed off. When this rewards program started, it offered everybody who signed up a five or ten cent discount per gallon, I can’t remember which, and that naturally got everyone to sign up like I did.

That discount only lasted until the end of that summer, but the perks for using it are still going. If you buy so much shit and scan your card, you get free shit. You can also get gift cards for restaurants or free gas. You know how it works, right?

At this point, more than a decade later, the only people who don’t know about the program are those people who moved to the east coast from the west coast or to here from another country, because our gas station is only on the east coast. Hell, we have kids who come in with their own cards. They can actually save money on gas, and they’re not old enough to drive. Excellent.

The point here is, BY NOW, most of the people who regularly shop at any of these stations knows about the card and the rewards program, and they have made up their minds whether they want to have a card or not. Hell, most of the people I ask for their card tell me they left it on their key ring in their car, because most of the people stopping in for stuff other than gas leave their cars running, and thus leave their rewards cards in the car. Kind of pointless to have the fucking thing in the first place, but whatever, that’s their choice.

Now, here’s problem number uno. Recently I was told that I had made a list of employees, company wide, who had fallen below a 50% scan rate of the cards. The memo said something about how we have to make all of our customers aware of the program (I covered this, it has been around for over a decade, everybody fucking knows about it) and that we, as employees, should push it more so that we get above the 50% scan rate per week.

That sounds right. Right? They want their customers to know about the program and to sign up for it. Sure, why not? They have the system in place, they want people to use it.

EXCEPT, for those who absolutely do not want it, like all of those customers who have known about it for over a decade and haven’t got one yet, like all of those customers who give me attitude when I ask if they have one because they’re sick of fucking hearing it and they’re sick of being told how they should get one, like all of those customers who are running late to work and only stopped in for a coffee and don’t want to be bothered, they’re never going to sign up for one. Who do I have left to tell about the program?

Fucking nobody, that’s who.
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Movie Review: The Cobbler (Spoilers)

No, it isn't about pies.

No, it isn’t about pies.

Up until a week ago I had no idea this movie existed, but I saw it listed on Netflix, so I gave it a watch today. It stars Adam Sandler and Steve Buscemi. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Steve Buscemi?

Both of them make this movie great. I think it would work by itself with other actors, but because it was them, especially with their background and chemistry with one another, they made it that much better.

Supporting them, amongst many others who all did great jobs in the movie, were Method Man, the beautiful Dascha Polanco (Orange Is The New Black), Adam’s nephew Jared Sandler, and legend Dustin Hoffman.

I think Method Man should be commended for his acting in this movie. Not only did he have to play an ultra ghetto street shark who made his money illegitimately, he also had to play the complete opposite. To explain:
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