Customer Service Tales: The Mexican And The Hundred

I recently quit my pizza job, so there will be no more Delivery Tales from me. Instead, I’ll offer up interesting stories, if any, from my days of working customer service. My new job is doing that very thing at a gas station.

Tonight was only my second night on the register, and was also the beginning of my second week on the job. I only had to ring up a couple of customers, and this story is about one of them. A younger Mexican guy buying gas and beer.

He came up to the counter, set the beer down, and began looking through his wallet. He then mumbled something that I couldn’t quite understand. I tapped the 12 pack with my hand and asked for his ID. He gave me something that looked like an ID, but I had no idea what it was.

I didn’t understand anything on it other than his birthday, and since it said he was of age I accepted it, even though the card looked like he made it himself out of construction paper. He then said again what it was he had mumbled, and I just barely understood him.

Him: mumble
Me: You need twenty on seven?
Him: mumble
Me: Forty?
Him: mumble
Me: Thirty?

That was it. So I rang it all up and told him the total, which was just over forty bucks. He handed me a hundred dollar bill, one of those new ones that would be pretty hard to fake. I looked around for a marker to make sure it was real, even though I had no doubt it was, and couldn’t find one.

So he pulled one out of his pocket and let me use it.

This man, who was dressed like he just got done working some sort of construction job outside, pulled out a money checking marker from his pocket. He just happened to travel around with one at all times. Who the fuck does that? I delivered pizza and didn’t do that.

I marked the bill and the mark, like the marker, was black. The last time I used one of those markers it turned black if the bill was a fake, but was normally brown.

I studied the marker and it said it was a bill checking marker, so I accepted the results it had given me.

To recap, a Mexican came in with an ID that looked fake and terribly made, handed me a brand new $100 bill, and gave me his own money checking marker to check the money he had just given me. How legit is that? And I used his marker to check his money like it wasn’t completely pointless to do so.

I went to hand him back the marker and he told me to keep it.

He had his own money checking marker. Obviously he had a need to have one if he’s carrying one around with him at all times. But he told me to keep it, which means he doesn’t just have one, he’s got more at home. That’s pretty serious shit there. Who the hell needs that many money checking markers? Bankers maybe. Maybe he’s a banker. That sounds legit.

After he left I thought about it and realized I had done something terribly stupid. But I’m new, so whatever. I had been using my trainer’s register, so it was logged in under her name. Our policy is that we have to put all 50’s and 100’s in the safe as soon as we get them, so after I realized what I had done, I gave her the bill and told her to drop it, and she did without a second thought.

They’re pretty laid back at my job, so I’m sure nothing will happen because of that transaction. But if I get deported, cause that would happen, you’ll know why.


It seems very recently I wrote about aliens and whatnot, and here it is in the news. Blink-182’s co-founder, Tom DeLonge, speaks up on E.T. and his beliefs, as well as his crazy involvement with the Government and how he’s on their watch list.

He also seems to have an “I’m smarter than you” attitude in the entire article. Just because he is doesn’t mean he has to flaunt it. Especially when he drops bombs like this one.

“I don’t think we’re working underground with aliens. I don’t think it’s like that, like some dumb conspiracy theorists think.”


Us dumb ones, we’ll put our aluminum foil hats on our heads and go to our mother’s basements and await the gathering. We’ll just leave it all to you smart fellers to save our hides.

It’s a pretty crazy read, aside from that, and I think he’s on to some shit. Check it out, and know that it might sound crazy, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t, or couldn’t be, true.

Hot Tub Time Machine 2

If you’re a fan, you should know by now that the sequel is coming out on February 20th, 2015. Just six days from now. I’m stoked. I watched the trailer just a little while ago, and got so pumped I had to go watch the original again. When I did, I started noticing things I hadn’t noticed before. These things may have already been noticed by you or someone, I’m sure they were. But if not, then maybe I’m pointing something out that others didn’t know. Either way.

First, if you haven’t seen it, check out the trailer for the sequel.

And then I watched the first and immediately realized something. When Adam and Nick go to visit Lou in the hospital, Lou tells them again that he didn’t try to kill himself. But if he had, he’d be excellent at it. “Shotgun to the dick!”

In the trailer for the sequel he gets shot in the dick by a shotgun. Looks like he’s probably the one who did it. To himself.
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Our Future Is Close

No shit, each new second is the future, and they’re only a second away. Each and every one of them. There goes another one!

A buddy of mine who believes deeply in E.T.’s has been talking with me for the last few months about aliens and the government covering them up and all that fun stuff. He’d show me a documentary or a written piece, and I’d do the same for him. Tonight he sent me a new one, and I read it. And I’m going to share it with you.

Before that, I’ll say this. I do believe in life on other planets. I believe in aliens, E.T.’s, UFO’s. I believe in all of it. I think the X-Files should be classified as a documentary.

Naturally you don’t have to believe, and that’s fine. But for me, I hope there are aliens. More importantly than that, I have a few hopes and wishes for this planet and those who inhabit it.

I wish we could end the hate. We have nowhere to go. This planet is all we have. If you piss someone off on the other side of it, it’s not too hard for them to find you and get to you. Pissing each other off is just stupid. We’re all living together on this planet, and we’re all dealing with the same shit. You’d think we would have a common goal to fix everything and work together. But no. Instead we don’t only hate other nations, but we hate each other. Never mind us all being HUMANS on this planet, we can’t get along with our neighbors who are the same nationality as us. “He’s Mexican, so fuck him cause he’s not from here. But that black guy over there who lives down the street from me, fuck him too.”

It doesn’t make sense to me.

If we could all work together, for each other instead of our own personal agendas, each and every one of our lives would be so awesome. We wouldn’t worry about shit anymore. We’d have no fears, or stress, or hate, or violence, or unnecessary wars. We wouldn’t be controlled by money, greed, or power.

You religious folks believe in a second coming. What if this is it? What if this is your chance to get peace and knowledge? I’d take it. And I’d LOVE to catch a ride across the galaxy to see things nobody else gets to see and interact with a supreme being who only wants my happiness and well being.

You don’t have to believe, but if you have a few minutes, read this article. I’ve actually thought most of this stuff for many years. To see it now is kind of freaky. But I believe it all. We need help here, and a miracle is probably what we need to get it all right. If aliens came here and fixed everything, that would be pretty miraculous. Regardless of the alien thing, everything that is said about how we live and what’s going on is pretty damn accurate. We need to fix things in a bad way, and that applies with or without the aliens.

Hell, you don’t even have to be a fan of Jean Ederman, who apparently has some haters out there. Either way, the message needs to be read.

From Humans Are Free:

Alien Message to Mankind: “Do You Wish That We Show Up?”

The original source of this information appears to be by Mr. Jean Ederman, now 49, of France, who evidently works in the field of aviation.

He claims to have been a military jet pilot, air traffic controller and airport manager, and to have a masters in economics. He also claims to have had a number of anomalous experiences since the age of six, which later included a number of UFO sightings and ET contacts.

He writes: “… after having learned how to mentally project myself to a place in the presence of benevolent extraterrestrials, I received the following message…”

[Translated from French into English by Dan Drasin, a Marin-based film-maker and researcher].

Each one of you wishes to exercise your free will and experience happiness. Your free will depends upon the knowledge you have of your own power. Your happiness depends upon the love that you give and receive.

Like all conscious races at this stage of progress, you may feel isolated on your planet. This impression gives you a certain view of your destiny. Yet you are at the brink of big upheavals that only a minority is aware of.

It is not our responsibility to modify your future without your choosing it. So consider this message as a worldwide referendum, and your answer as a ballot.

Neither your scientists nor your religious representatives speak knowledgeably about certain unexplained aerial and celestial events that mankind has witnessed for thousands of years.

To know the truth, one must face it without the filter of one’s beliefs or dogmas, however respectable
they may be.

A growing number of anonymous researchers of yours are exploring new paths of knowledge and are getting very close to reality. Today, your civilization is flooded with an ocean of information of which only a tiny part, the less upsetting one, is notably distributed.

Bear in mind that what in your history seemed ridiculous or improbable has often become possible, then realized — in particular in the last fifty years.

Be aware that the future will be even more surprising. You will discover the worst as well as the best.

Many of those who study our appearances point to lights in the night, but without lighting the way. Often they think in terms of objects when it is all about conscious beings.

Read the rest here.

Little Redd Pun Dog – PMS

Little Redd Pun Dog!

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