The Final Word

Why should I be in control of everything? Because then the world would work so much better than it does now. Why do I think this? Because my ideas rock. Take this for example.

In a few months the World Choir Games will be done in my hometown of Cincinnati. You may think this is no big deal, and in all actuality it isn’t. Choir sucks. I only say that because I can’t sing. But, this is actually a huge event and it will bring in thousands from all over the world to our city.

To prepare for this, the city has posted a giant clock which displays a countdown leading up to the event. All around it are signs for the event and they are in multiple languages, since the people coming for the event are from all around the world. That makes sense, right? These people are coming from their homes to visit ours and they have no idea where anything is, so they have to get around okay, right?

People are bitching about this. They’re saying that these outsiders, these visitors to our country and to our city should know how to speak English.

Why does that not sound like a bunch of shit? Because it sounds like shit.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully believe that anybody calling any piece of land within the United States of America should speak English. If they’re going to live here and work here, they should be able to speak here. I don’t care if they speak their own shit when they’re speaking with one another, but if you have to have a translator, you shouldn’t be living here.

However, we’re expecting these people to come from their homes and just visit our own city. They’re going to be visiting us for what will probably be the only time they’ll ever be here. They’ll be staying here for at least two days, most likely three or four, they’re going to be spending their money here and they’re going to be going home and telling everybody about it.

If we don’t help them get around while they’re here, who will? Do you speak their language? No, and you never will. You obviously don’t like them, mister and misses hater fucks, so having these signs hanging everywhere in their language will keep them from bothering you. You should appreciate that, at the very least.

I don’t think we want them going back to their countries and telling their people that our city was full of assholes who didn’t want them there and didn’t want any signs put up in their language so they could navigate the city better, which would most likely lead to them spending more time and money here. And hey, if they liked it, they might come back and bring more people with them. And then who knows, MAYBE this city won’t suck so much and MAYBE we won’t be losing citizens to other cities. And then maybe we won’t be in the hole with our budget and we’ll actually be known as a city to visit. And then maybe others from our own country will start to visit here for vacation instead of New York or Chicago, which will then only make our city better.

Instead, let’s not put up the signs and then they’ll hate our city and they’ll never come back and Cincinnati will continue to be the piece of shit that it is.

Some of these hater people are bitching about the tax money used to make the signs. Well guess what asshole, if those people come here they’ll be spending money that otherwise would have never been spent here, and THAT will more than make up what our taxes went to.

Speaking of taxes, if they come here and spend their money and they liked coming here and they somehow cause others to come here for vacation and THEY spend money, we’ll suddenly need less in taxes for those things that already bog down our bank accounts. Because that’s how tourism works.

If our city suddenly became a hot spot for tourism, the city would make more money and they’d need less from us. That, of course, doesn’t mean they won’t come after our money as well, but still, the idea is there.

Tourism is a GOOD THING, not a bad thing. If a few dozen signs in different languages are what it takes to keep people coming here from all over the fucking world, then so be it.

Finally, what the fuck does it matter to any of the haters if those signs are up? How are they going to ruin your day? It doesn’t matter what the words say, because you don’t need to read the signs. Never mind that each sign will say the exact same thing in every language INCLUDING English. Go figure.

I just don’t understand people. How could you not want that money? Besides, if you traveled from here to, oh say, China, for the last Olympics, nobody there was expecting you to know Chinese. And do you know why thousands more people go to China every year on vacation than they do Cincinnati?

I wonder. So I say, if you’re going to live somewhere, you should speak their language. It’s only rude if you don’t. But, if it’s to bring in thousands of new people to your city as tourists, to spend their time and money here, by all means, we welcome the other languages. It’s the only way for that to work, and we need it to work.

2 responses to “The Final Word

  1. Idiots will never understand this logic. Nice try, though.

  2. Thanks, and I know, but it was worth a shot.

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