Monthly Archives: April 2012

New Views On Music

Over time everything that at one point was bad winds up turning good. I’m not sure why that is, but it’s obvious that’s how it goes.

Slavery was a huge thing in its day and very popular (amongst white people). Now, black folks are free, even though some will tell you otherwise because they still can’t let things go. I mean come on, our bad. Let’s go have a smoothie somewhere.

At one point coffee was medically good for you, and then it changed and it was bad for you, and then it changed again, and on and on.

But my point now, is sometimes in music, certain trends show up in what’s popular when they were previously frowned upon.

Take rap for example. When it first came out and started gaining momentum, a lot of people hated it, mostly because of its messages, even though it was the most honest music out there. And now, it’s everywhere. Hell, even a rap icon in this day and age, Nelly, merged with country star Tim McGraw to help bridge a gap that apparently needed bridging. Now there are a few rap/country mash-ups that never needed to happen. Thanks Nelly and Tim, assholes.

Now there’s a commercial featuring a family on vacation driving a Honda Pilot and to break the long boring drive, the kids in the car start singing “Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne.

Not only is it a remarkably horrible commercial and will never make it to this awesome site, but it totally goes against everything there used to be about Ozzy.

I warn you, this is the long version of the commercial and it’s even more annoying than the one they show on TV.

The problem here is, Ozzy has done some things in his time to warrant every decent parent in the United States from allowing their children to listen to his music. Taken from this site, here are a couple of the things he’s done.

-Ozzy snorts a line of ants up his nose. Back in 1984, Osbourne and Motley Crue went on tour together. Being two of the biggest-partying groups in the world, the tour is widely regarded as one of the most debaucherous in rock history. One night while drunk at a bar, Osbourne took a straw from Nikki Sixx and snorted a line of ants like he was doing cocaine. According to “The Dirt,” a Crue biography of sorts, Osbourne also did some other rather crazy things that night.

-Ozzy gets kicked out of San Antonio. During a drunken night in 1982, Osbourne donned one of his wife’s dresses because she had hidden his clothes. Anyway, Osbourne urinated on a sign at the Alamo. After being arrested, Osbourne was banned from the city of San Antonio for a decade.

-Ozzy bites the head off of a bat. It was Jan. 20, 1982, and Osbourne had taken the stage in Des Moines. A teenage fan came to the show with a bat (he clamed it was dead) and threw it onto the stage. Osbourne, thinking the bat was rubber, did the heavy metal-est thing he could: He bit the bat’s head off. Though the teen said the bat was dead, Osbourne claimed it was alive and had to receive rabies shots after the concert.

Not to mention those things, he was also labeled a satanist and reports came in from all over that if you play some of his songs backwards you’d hear a message from Satan himself. Other stories said that in certain songs you can hear him secretly telling you to kill yourself or others. Basically, nobody liked him other than his fans, which were looked upon as cult followers and once again Satan worshipers.

Parents frowned on this man and had a time trying to keep their kids from going down the wrong road and falling in love with Beelzebub.

But now? Not now. In this commercial, Honda is telling the world that it’s okay to listen to Ozzy. He’s stood the test of time and he deserves our respect.

I find that to be a load of horse shit. Either he’s a satanic piece of trash who shouldn’t be listened to by anyone, or he’s okay to listen to. You can’t have it both ways assholes.

Thanks to his hit show The Osbournes, it’s now officially acceptable to like him by anyone. Why is that? Because apparently even Satan’s wrath is overshadowed by the curse of the reality show. And if a reality show can be made about something, apparently it’s then okay to like it, no matter what it used to be. Just take a look at all of the faux celebrities who’ve been glamorized by some sort of reality show filth they were in.

Every time I see that commercial with those kids singing that song, it pisses me off and I just had to say something about it. I don’t like it, and fuck Honda for trying to change things. Why couldn’t they have used a song by John Mellencamp or Tom Petty? Instead they go for one of the most notorious bad guys the rock scene has ever seen, and all because apparently it’s now acceptable. I’m not sure the real reason why it’s okay for kids to like him now, because I never got the memo.

So I say fuck you Honda (again). You can keep your Pilot and all of your other shitty cars. And if I never hear another Ozzy song, that’ll be okay by me.

F**k The Rain Umbrella

I’ve always been a fan of the middle finger. It means a lot, for just a regular finger. Well, I guess it isn’t a regular finger, since it means so much. Amazingly, it only means “Fuck you” in American. If you travel the world, chances are good you’ll find that the middle finger doesn’t mean much outside of our country.

Yup

That logo has followed this blog for years. As I said, I’m a fan. That one finger tells just about everyone and everything just what I think of it. I even put it on a shirt.

Want one? You can own one for just $15.99 plus S/H, along with all of the other shirts I designed. I haven’t linked to the shop yet for no real good reason. So there it is, go look through my store and buy some stuff. I don’t even make a profit from sales. Yeah, I’m selling that stuff at the bare minimum price just to get it out there.

So I’m checking out my list of sites to check out and I come across Dude, I Want That and an umbrella that I can’t believe I haven’t bought yet.

Isn’t that awesome? It’s just like my shirt, only more water resistant. For all these years I’ve been trying to figure out a way to flip off the rain, and now I can. It’s only $45, which may sound like a lot, but have you ever priced a really good umbrella? $45 isn’t so bad.

I think I’ll get one, or maybe a few and then add them to my store. Maybe.

Those Who Control Speeding

I’m not going to say I know all the answers, although I’m pretty sure I have a few solutions to things that nobody else has thought of, or at least attempted. However, I do have one thing in mind that continues to bother me and I’d like to know from someone in the know whether I’m on to something or not.

What’s bothering me is, drivers, rather, the rules surrounding driving. Well, drivers bother me on a daily basis, even if I don’t drive a day. I just hate drivers.

However, there’s one rule in particular, or law, that confuses me. It’s the fact that we have to abide by speed limits no matter where we’re driving, but car manufacturer’s, who have to abide by the government’s safety regulations, continue to build everyday cars that can go upwards of double the legally set standards.

If you go somewhere, where there are no speed limit signs, you’re even supposed to know what the speed limit is. Can you remember back to when you were studying to first get your license? I barely do, but I do remember when we had to know what our State set for rural areas, country areas and city areas. By knowing that, it doesn’t matter if the speed limit is posted or not, we’re all supposed to already know.

However, even on our fastest highways around this country, we’re only legally allowed to drive at a certain speed that is well below what most regular cars are now capable of doing.

Every car manufacturer who wants to sell their cars in this country is also bound by this country’s rules. They have to be so safe and they have to run a certain way. If they don’t measure up to the standards set by the government, they aren’t allowed to be sold here.

So if the government wants us to drive a certain speed, and they have the standards written out that every car manufacturer has to go by, why are cars built with top speeds well over a hundred miles per hour?

Can anybody help me with this? I’d really like to know.

I’d also like to know why there’s a little gadget in my car called a governor that keeps my vehicle from driving at its max speed? I can still drive at 100 MPH even though my car can do over that. So if you’re going to put the effort into regulating how fast I can go to keep me more legal, why wouldn’t you stop my car from going over 70 instead? Or 60?

I just don’t understand any of it. I tried looking it up online by doing a search for the only thing I could think of, “stupid shit”, but it went Jedi on me and didn’t return the results I was looking for.

I can’t figure out why the government allows car manufacturer’s to build cars to drive double the legally set speed limit that they themselves mandate. This just goes onto the ever-increasing list of shit I’ll never understand.

Happy 4/20 Everyone!

Now this is a holiday to celebrate.

For those of you who don’t know, 4/20 or even 4:20 is the international pot smoker’s time. Since April 20th is 4/20, it’s turned into a worldwide holiday where tokers have a puff and enjoy what they all have in common.

From what I understand, sometime in the 1970s someone wrote in to High Times Magazine and told of how after classes he and his buddies would meet behind the gym to smoke one and it always happened that they did it at 4:20 PM. Since it was published in High Times, everyone reading suddenly made 4:20 the time to smoke and it’s been that way ever since.

It’s no secret that I like to indulge once in a while, and I am a strong supporter for the legalization/decriminalization of marijuana. Even if a doctor told me (which my past doctor told me he didn’t care that I smoked, but would rather see me stop smoking cigarettes instead) I had to stop or I would die (which I don’t think is possible) I would still be a supporter to have it legalized.

Why fill our prisons with non-problematic people when they don’t have room for murderers and rapists? Why not take Amsterdam’s stance on it? Why keep it illegal if people are still going to do it anyway?

And for the record, weed doesn’t kill.

Now, I could go on and on with my stance, but you’ve got the point. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it and I think we should drop the idea that it’s a drug. It’s a plant, folks. WE create drugs because we created drugs. Before there were drugs, there was marijuana. It’s natural.

In any case, potheads don’t care if you celebrate or not, but you’re welcome to celebrate with us. Just because you don’t smoke doesn’t mean you have to. Just have yourself an awesome day with some awesome friends and leave it at that. That’s all we ask. But don’t hate on us for enjoying ourselves the way we do. It’s our day, dammit!

To help celebrate, I made a play list of tracks to play while I’m celebrating, and I’ll share some of them here with you now if you’re interested in hearing some great tunes about the almighty grass. Here they are, in no particular order.

Once again folks, however you celebrate, just do it safely and have a good time. If you do anything at all for 4/20, let me know!

Movie Review: Bending The Rules

Bending The Rules is a newer movie by WWE Studios and it features former pro wrestler Edge in the lead role. He’s joined by funny man Jamie Kennedy. When I first saw the previews for this movie I was interested, mostly because I’m a fan of Edge, but also because it looked like it might be good.

The movie starts off fast, jumping right into the story. This causes two problems. One, you feel as if you have to catch up fast and it’s hard to do when you only have so much to go off of, and two, there’s almost no time devoted to character development.

While you do learn who the characters are throughout the movie, little time is given to them, if that makes any sense.

Aside from that, the acting done by Adam “Edge” Copeland is decent and fits this type of movie. He’s pretty funny and makes the role work, but does little else with it. Jamie Kennedy is also funny in the movie, but the role doesn’t seem to be for him. While he’s a talented enough comedic actor, this role wasn’t really his strong suit.

The movie has some action and some comedy in it, but overall it felt to be lacking a little of everything. Some things in the movie could have been left out while other more important things could have been brought in.

All in all, I wasn’t too upset that I sat through it, but I wouldn’t again.

I give this movie 5 of 10 stars.