New Views On Music

Over time everything that at one point was bad winds up turning good. I’m not sure why that is, but it’s obvious that’s how it goes.

Slavery was a huge thing in its day and very popular (amongst white people). Now, black folks are free, even though some will tell you otherwise because they still can’t let things go. I mean come on, our bad. Let’s go have a smoothie somewhere.

At one point coffee was medically good for you, and then it changed and it was bad for you, and then it changed again, and on and on.

But my point now, is sometimes in music, certain trends show up in what’s popular when they were previously frowned upon.

Take rap for example. When it first came out and started gaining momentum, a lot of people hated it, mostly because of its messages, even though it was the most honest music out there. And now, it’s everywhere. Hell, even a rap icon in this day and age, Nelly, merged with country star Tim McGraw to help bridge a gap that apparently needed bridging. Now there are a few rap/country mash-ups that never needed to happen. Thanks Nelly and Tim, assholes.

Now there’s a commercial featuring a family on vacation driving a Honda Pilot and to break the long boring drive, the kids in the car start singing “Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne.

Not only is it a remarkably horrible commercial and will never make it to this awesome site, but it totally goes against everything there used to be about Ozzy.

I warn you, this is the long version of the commercial and it’s even more annoying than the one they show on TV.

The problem here is, Ozzy has done some things in his time to warrant every decent parent in the United States from allowing their children to listen to his music. Taken from this site, here are a couple of the things he’s done.

-Ozzy snorts a line of ants up his nose. Back in 1984, Osbourne and Motley Crue went on tour together. Being two of the biggest-partying groups in the world, the tour is widely regarded as one of the most debaucherous in rock history. One night while drunk at a bar, Osbourne took a straw from Nikki Sixx and snorted a line of ants like he was doing cocaine. According to “The Dirt,” a Crue biography of sorts, Osbourne also did some other rather crazy things that night.

-Ozzy gets kicked out of San Antonio. During a drunken night in 1982, Osbourne donned one of his wife’s dresses because she had hidden his clothes. Anyway, Osbourne urinated on a sign at the Alamo. After being arrested, Osbourne was banned from the city of San Antonio for a decade.

-Ozzy bites the head off of a bat. It was Jan. 20, 1982, and Osbourne had taken the stage in Des Moines. A teenage fan came to the show with a bat (he clamed it was dead) and threw it onto the stage. Osbourne, thinking the bat was rubber, did the heavy metal-est thing he could: He bit the bat’s head off. Though the teen said the bat was dead, Osbourne claimed it was alive and had to receive rabies shots after the concert.

Not to mention those things, he was also labeled a satanist and reports came in from all over that if you play some of his songs backwards you’d hear a message from Satan himself. Other stories said that in certain songs you can hear him secretly telling you to kill yourself or others. Basically, nobody liked him other than his fans, which were looked upon as cult followers and once again Satan worshipers.

Parents frowned on this man and had a time trying to keep their kids from going down the wrong road and falling in love with Beelzebub.

But now? Not now. In this commercial, Honda is telling the world that it’s okay to listen to Ozzy. He’s stood the test of time and he deserves our respect.

I find that to be a load of horse shit. Either he’s a satanic piece of trash who shouldn’t be listened to by anyone, or he’s okay to listen to. You can’t have it both ways assholes.

Thanks to his hit show The Osbournes, it’s now officially acceptable to like him by anyone. Why is that? Because apparently even Satan’s wrath is overshadowed by the curse of the reality show. And if a reality show can be made about something, apparently it’s then okay to like it, no matter what it used to be. Just take a look at all of the faux celebrities who’ve been glamorized by some sort of reality show filth they were in.

Every time I see that commercial with those kids singing that song, it pisses me off and I just had to say something about it. I don’t like it, and fuck Honda for trying to change things. Why couldn’t they have used a song by John Mellencamp or Tom Petty? Instead they go for one of the most notorious bad guys the rock scene has ever seen, and all because apparently it’s now acceptable. I’m not sure the real reason why it’s okay for kids to like him now, because I never got the memo.

So I say fuck you Honda (again). You can keep your Pilot and all of your other shitty cars. And if I never hear another Ozzy song, that’ll be okay by me.

5 responses to “New Views On Music

  1. Well, my problem with that commercial isn’t the fact that an entire family is singing Crazy Train accapella (or however you spell it), but the fact that this is supposed to be a fully loaded vehicle. Why the fuck don’t they just turn on the radio? Does it not have one?

    Also, I thought it was funny that an entirely white family driving in the middle of nowhere has a token black kid in the car. And, lets be honest, how many black people (especially kids) like or even know the words to Crazy Train? Let’s get real, people.

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