Let’s get one thing straight. I really do love sex. I’m a red blooded human being. Who doesn’t love sex? Hell, as of the last Maury show I caught there are 12 year olds out there who love it. And you can’t go wrong when you hear it from a 12 year old on a day time talk show!
It just occurred to me one day that sex brings up a lot of bad shit. And for the few things that come from it that are truly good, it almost isn’t even a fair fight. The cons take the gold.
So I say that I hate sex as a way to pull you in. A way to get you to read the piece I’m currently in the process of writing. The title of a work of fiction (or something) should be catchy. It should pull the reader in. Grab them from the beginning, so to speak. So with all of us, including some 12 year olds, loving sex as much as we do I figured the title to be a decent hook.
The cons do, however, make it tempting to hate sex. Let’s look at them, shall we?
Porn
Porn is everywhere now, and a lot of people are getting into it who might not have been years ago. Such as women. Some women I know love porn as much as any normal man should. Hell, I love porn. As I said before, I’m a red blooded human, and I’m a man.
But what is porn? Technically it’s a way to help couples with sex problems. What it happens to be is a way for 12 year olds to learn how to perform sexual acts by checking out any of the free porn tubes that are now online and that require no age verification to watch countless hours of the good stuff.
What porn is really doing is showing men a bunch of women they’ll never get to have sex with, with a dong they’ll never be able to compete with. What it’s showing women is a bunch of giant dongs they’ll never get to be with (and in some cases women they’d probably be able to nail). The difference is, normal women could land any of those guys (if they found them) because male porn stars will do it with just about anybody. But where do men fall? Yeah, we still can’t tap the behind of those porn divas. So we’re on the losing end, and we’re the target for porn. That discretion makes it evil.
Sex Toys
Sex toys go right along with porn. Typically anybody willing to use sex toys also enjoy porn. And there’s nothing wrong with that. However, these toys are designed with sex in mind. Not making love, not a bunch of FEELINGS, just the primal, natural desire of SEX.
Case in point, these toys are designed, all of them, to get you off. Period. There’s no vibrator designed to cuddle you afterwards and smoke a cigarette with you, holding you and talking about your feelings. There’s no blow up doll designed to cook you a meal and get all dolled up when she goes to meet your parents. No, these toys are there for sex. Dirty nasty sex. EVIL.
Babies
Depending on who you ask, babies are a good thing. Unfortunately there are many being had to people for all the wrong reasons and sadly that will never end. I think a child should be a blessing in any situation. BUT, that’s a lot of work, regardless of where you stand on it. Your life is over after you have a kid. And anything that could potentially end your life has got to be evil.
Diseases
Something that is supposed to be a wonderful thing, something that is supposed to be for the prosperity of the human race, something that is supposed to be a way to feel great while you procreate, can also kill the shit out of you legitimately. How many diseases are there that will drop you dead just because you got your noodle wet? There are so many simplexes of herpes they fucking numbered them.
Jail
“In the army they give you a medal for spraying napalm on people, civilian life you go to jail for giving somebody an orgasm. Selling is legal, fucking is legal. Why isn’t selling fucking legal?” – George Carlin
In most places in the United States if you go find a woman who is willing to sleep with you for a little cash, you can go to jail for making that exchange. Yet if you take a woman out on a date, dinner and a movie and then you get lucky, you had a successful date. No jail involved, although depending on the girl you might get handcuffed. But it’s the same thing, only you played it out a little more. You paid money that night for the chance to get some ass. If anything, taking that route as a man is riskier, because there’s no guarantee of a payoff for him. Yet that’s the way our law enforcement wants us to go.
Personally I think it should be legal. Tax them like most cities that allow prostitution, and let them do their thing. In all seriousness, what’s so wrong with it? I’d never go to a prostitute, but what’s wrong with it? Hell, you can go to most trailer parks and find some little skeeze who’ll do you and everybody else for free. That’s legal.
But prostitution isn’t legal so you can go to jail for it. I think this also says that money is evil because that’s the difference between prostitution and free and legal trailer park ass. Money.
Prostitution can send you to jail, potentially give you a few simplexes of herpes and 9 months later you might end up on Maury taking a test to find out if you’re the father of her bastard child. So I’d have to say that it’s pretty evil by those standards.
With all of that going on plus some I’m sure I missed, what’s to like about it? It makes you feel good and in some cases gives you a wanted baby. Sometimes you can even “make love” but that makes you feel good so you’re still left with just two positives.
With the cons outweighing the pros, I think I’m going to have to stand by the title of this blog after all. I hate sex.
Uh oh… my life is almost over. I knew there was a flaw in this plan. Dangit! That bun is almost done cooking.
Yeah, there’s always a flaw.
Oh wow. Funny and serious at the same time. I heard 1 nephew say to another, “I think I got a virus”. My other nephew’s reply,”Dad’s gonna kill you”….it wasn’t herpes..they were talking about their laptop. They are barely into the double digits.
Nice nice nice.
Kinky sex has its place. Why not VDay of all days to fly your freak flag?
Yeah, I didn’t even realize it was coming up when I wrote this or I would have held off until then to post it. VDay doesn’t mean much of anything to me anymore. My wife and I don’t celebrate.
“….because I already show her every day how much I love her!”
Sure lol. We’re actually very much against the fabricated “holiday” where how much money you spend determines how well you did. And yes, we show each other all the time how much we love one another.
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Sex, like everything else in my life, is way more complicated than it should be.
Right? And it shouldn’t be! Mammals have been having sex for ages. You’d think we’d have it down by now.
It just seems to be getting more complicated rather than easier. How lame.