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July 13, 2006 I heard several things about Superman Returns. Mostly bad stuff, but a few good things. Howard Stern for example, loves the movie. Almost everyone else though, hated it. So I thought I'd check it out because I'm a fan of Superman. I went to the theater with high hopes. I was expecting a blockbuster of a movie. Totally disregarding opening box office sales, I thought this could be the next of a long line of great Superman flicks. I was let down worse than America was when OJ was found not guilty.  The movie sucks. It sucks worse than things that have sucked before it, but not as bad as Titanic. The acting in the movie was great. The story was great. The special effects were great. But there was something not right with it. I think it had something to do with how the movie was laid out. In this movie, the end of the movie happens 20 minutes or so before the movie ends. After all the action and Superman getting what he wanted and saving the earth, it was over. But then there was another 20 minutes of filler shit that didn't need to be there in the slightest. Superman had a baby with Lois Lane, unbeknownst to us, but knowenst to them. Superboy is probably going to be the next DC movie to come out. Speaking of DC, I wonder if they had anything to do with this movie. Superman lands on a rock made of kryptonite and becomes so weak Lex and his thugs easily make him look like Superbitch. Five minutes later he picks the whole god damned thing up and flies it into outer space. Make sense? No. Wait... no. And then they make it look like he dies. Nobody cared. Nobody was on the edge of their seats. I was, but that was because I thought the movie was over... but it kept going and going and going... Superman lives, has a moment of reflection, and flies off to save the world again, ending like the previous four movies. It was horrible. The movie was around 2 and a half hours long, and it should've been an hour. I could've cut out a movie's length worth of pointless shit that was in the movie. They spent more time on stuff that didn't need to be shown than the stuff that needed to be shown. There's only one thing I hope for, and that's another horse accident. I give this movie 14 out of 96 stars because I rock. I hate Superman Returns like I hate everything else, only more super. |
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