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Mar. 22, 2006 I'm so fucking sick and god damned tired of companies, mostly large corporations but some small businesses do it, telling us what they want us to think instead of letting us make our own decisions. This has always gone on, but now it's getting less and less subtle. Do you know how long Coca-Cola has been putting "Enjoy" in front of their name? A long fucking time. Look at this...  That's insane. For one, I'll enjoy your product if I want, NOT because you told me to. Second, if I want to drink it out of a can, I'll do it. Fuck your bottles. I'm not giving your bottle maker any more business because you requested it. If I'm buying your product, I'm not doing so because of the bottle, I'm doing so to buy your product. I don't care how it comes. Actually, I'd prefer liquor mixed in with it, but I'll take care of that on my own. Remember back when Ford would say "Have you driven a Ford lately?"? I never understood that, because we had a Ford, and it was a piece of shit. My dad never got to enjoy his weekends off, because he was usually spending it in the drive way trying to fix something wrong with our Ford. Fuck you Ford. And Mercury, it sucks too. What about McDonald's? They now say "i'm lovin' it" by cleverly not spelling a word fully, and by making everything lowercase to appeal to the young, hip crowd. The only problem is, I'M not lovin' anything they do. Nevermind that it doesn't say "you're lovin' it", that obviously means THEY love it. So, McDonald's loves what? The billions of dollars their company makes every year by brainwashing the young, hip crowd to purchase their product because they have a restaurant on every other corner? No shit, I'd love that too, assholes. But none of these pissed me off more than this next one. A local eatery in Cincinnati is called LaRosa's. It's an "Italian eatery". They started off by making Italian food, and almost passing off as an elegant place to eat. Currently, they have damn near as many locations in and around Cincinnati as McDonald's does, and that's saying something. Basically on the corners McDonald's doesn't inhabit, LaRosa's has set up shop. And they're basically a "fast food pizza place". They think they're nice, but the only thing they're really missing is a drive-thru, and I wouldn't put it past them to do that. However, Pork Sausage and I were in one the other day eating lunch and drinking heavily because all of the places we wanted to go were packed and LaRosa's for some reason had plenty of available seats. I looked over and seen a flier on the table that had this to say. It's Your Choice At LaRosa'sThat's disgusting. I handed it to Pork and asked him to tell me what he seen wrong. He said something to the fact that we shouldn't have to ask our waitress to give us a menu, it should be readily accessible. I said yeah, but that's not what I seen. For one, isn't it my choice what I want to eat NORMALLY? I've never had a problem with it not being my choice, unless I'm taken to a shitty restaurant and not consulted about it first. I've always been under the impression that it was my choice what I wanted... I didn't expect the restaurant to have to say it first. And now it's my choice that I want to eat shitty food? It's already not that good to begin with. And now they have low-fat and low-carb food? Cardboard. That's all it is. Warmed up portions of cardboard. What they serve normally shouldn't be consumed by humans in the first place. If you can build a wall in a house out of it, we shouldn't be eating it. Pork and I used to work at that LaRosa's a few years ago. We had some good times. I mean, just cause the food sucks doesn't mean we can't let them pay us. So seeing this new low-carb more-crap menu made me remember back when I worked there and they took four Italian items off of the menu that had been favorites by people for years, to introduce... BUFFALO WINGS!!! The guy in charge of our store, Michael LaRosa, stopped in once to make a bullshit announcement with the employees even though we already knew, but he had to get his employee greeting for the year out of the way. After he gets done talking he asks us if we had any questions. I asked him some questions. Me: So Mike, why are we, an Italian eatery, getting rid of four Italian dishes to bring in something that isn't Italian, like buffalo wings? Mike: People love buffalo wings, and more places are starting to sell them. So, to keep up with the competition, we have to introduce new and exciting things. (Or some bullshit like that. This was 5 years ago, leave me alone.) Me: There's already places that sell buffalo wings, because that's what they specialize in. We're a pizza place. We specialize in pizza. It'd be pretty messed up if a buffalo wing place started selling pizza. Mike: Well, that is true, but you never know. McDonald's started selling spaghetti and pizza! Me: Yeah, and that lasted for all of a couple years. It went away for a reason, and it was never introduced into all McDonald's. It was a dumb idea. Mike: Well hopefully this will go over well with our customers. Me: What are they going to be like? Will they be bigger or tastier than those already sold by buffalo wing specialists? Mike: We believe our wings will be favorites by many people. I've tried some already, and they're good. Me: Hey Mike, I'm sure the items we do sell that's Italian aren't the only Italian dishes in the history of Italy. Couldn't we replace something Italian with, oh I don't know, a different Italian dish? Mike: Maybe we will in the future. Then he moved on. And for the record and in all honesty, their wings are the smallest wings I've ever seen, and they're all fat. And the sauce isn't even buffalo sauce, it's hot sauce. They suck. So fuck them and their new menu. And fuck all corporations for doing this. I want to decide, assholes. Come up with some catchy saying or slogan, but don't tell me what to purchase. I hate being told what to like. |
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