| The Media Sucks
Posted August 19, 2009
Posted by beefy on Wed Aug 19, 2009 09:21:36 | I think I've officially "had it" with the media. Every day they lie and spill filth and start bullshit and create words and make celebrities out of nobodies for no fucking god damn good reason and I've fucking had it.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Awesomtorial
Posted July 29, 2009
Posted by beefy on Wed Jul 29, 2009 14:29:37 | I've about fucking had it with people combining words to make new words. I'm not sure when this started but typically it's the media that does this shit and the surge that really started the current trend that is really pissing me off is from when Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were dating. Bradjolina was the term coined by the media to make this sound more stupid. They succeeded.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Snakes Or Zombies?
Posted May 26, 2009
Posted by beefy on Tue May 26, 2009 21:40:22 | I just finished watching a new horror movie (2006) titled "Flight Of The Living Dead: Outbreak On A Plane" and I couldn't be any happier.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
What This Country Needs
Posted on May 7, 2009
Posted by beefy on Thu May 07, 2009 22:06:25 | I'm having problems with women talking. They do it and that's the problem.
I'm also having a problem with women being clothed. They usually are and that's the problem.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Dare To Compare
Posted on April 12, 2009
Posted by beefy on Sun Apr 12, 2009 00:02:13 | With Easter right around the corner I felt the time was right to come to you, my friends, to share with you the wisdom and knowledge I gained today while at my local grocery store.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Land Of The Free, Home Of The Followers
Posted on Mar. 11, 2009
Posted by beefy on Wed Mar 11, 2009 15:13:26 | I'm so sick of being in this shit hole of a country where we follow more than lead. The only thing we lead at is starting bullshit wars and having the better professional football league. Oh, we do lead at following. Nobody follows like we do.
More ...
3 comments--Add comment |
Shutter, It's The Strangers
Posted on Mar. 3, 2009
Posted by beefy on Tue Mar 03, 2009 18:08:24 | I just completely wasted 3 hours of my life so now I'm going to waste a few minutes of yours.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Fat Ass Naked America
Posted on Feb. 4, 2009
Posted by beefy on Wed Feb 04, 2009 22:54:12 | Everybody knows I'm a fat ass. I'm proud of it. It took a long time and a lot of hard work to get to where I'm at now. A lot of late night meals, going to bed on a full stomach, greasy burgers, extra cheese pizzas and straight up lard-on-a-stick to build this round figure just the way I wanted it. And now that I'm a large, fat, tons-o-fun, what am I going to wear?
More ...
2 comments--Add comment |
This Editorial Is So Gay
Posted on Dec. 7, 2008
Posted by beefy on Sun Dec 07, 2008 21:04:50 | Let's get one thing straight before I start this Editorial. I love fags.
More ...
2 comments--Add comment |
A Really Sweet Pile Of Shit
Posted Oct. 18, 2008
Posted by beefy on Sat Oct 18, 2008 12:08:42 | Did you know that there is a "holiday" called Sweetest Day? I know for a fact that it isn't nationwide, which is why I'm warning you now. Here in Ohio and surrounding areas it's a newer holiday that was started to give love to the one you're with every third saturday in October. Buy them flowers and sweets and teddy bears and cards and tell them you love them and take them out to dinner and spend money on them.
More ...
1 comments--Add comment |
Stimulus Bitching
Posted on Oct. 15, 2008
Posted by beefy on Wed Oct 15, 2008 00:13:28 | This is a stimulus Editorial. It will boost the economy.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
My Worst Nightmare Has Come True
Posted Oct. 10, 2008
Posted by beefy on Fri Oct 10, 2008 03:15:59 | I can't believe it happened. I never thought that it would, but it did. The greatest Rock 'n Roll band of all time has turned to the dark side. My whole world, all that I knew, all that I have ever loved, has turned against me. My mind is racing... what do I do now? If I can't trust these guys, who can I trust?
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
I Should Run This Country
Posted Oct. 8, 2008
Posted by beefy on Wed Oct 08, 2008 02:21:13 | I'm not one to get into serious political debate with my writing due to the fact that political topics are so touchy and I really don't want to get into any arguments with any of my readers.
Election time is coming up and while I have my own opinions on who should run the country and who should die slowly in a massive fire, I'm not going to push that onto you.
More ...
2 comments--Add comment |
My Top 10 Favorite Movies
Posted Sept. 15, 2008
Posted by beefy on Tue Sep 30, 2008 12:41:18 | I was wondering what my top 10 favorite movies of all time are, and so I decided to come up with a list. This list isn't going to reflect those movies that I've covered in my reviews, although one or two might pop up. In any case, here they are in no particular order, except for the number one which will always be my favorite. Keep in mind that this list was very hard to come up with.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Fast Food Strikes Again
Posted Aug. 20, 2008
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 23:11:55 | As I was sitting in the drive thru line at McDonald's wondering where my life got so horrible that I had to resort to their kind to feed me dinner, I noticed something. You can order a burger and a cheeseburger.
This might not shock you, yet. But it will. Oh just you wait and see.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
A Day At The Grocery Store
Posted Aug. 6, 2008
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 23:11:02 | The other day my girlfriend wanted to go to the store to pick up some things and since we didn't have much money on us at the time it was limited to milk, bread, dog food, basically the bare essentials. I told her to forget it all and get me beer. She did.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Coming To Ohio? Bypass Hamilton County.
Posted Aug. 2, 2008
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 23:10:09 | If you've never been to Ohio, there's really no reason to come here at all. I can be a good guy and give you a bunch of reasons TO come here, but that would just be silly of me. Sure we have theme parks with great roller coasters, but that's about it.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Are You Scared Of This Editorial? You Shouldn't Be.
Posted July 17, 2008
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 23:09:18 | Have you seen the show "Scare Tactics" yet? It's been on for a few years now and I've personally always enjoyed it. It's great. If you want to scare the shit out of one of your friends, you can do it on your own, or you can put them on this show and scare them publicly. I prefer it that way.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Looking For A New Car? Don't Buy These.
Posted June 9, 2008
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 23:08:34 | If you're in the market for a new car (whether it be brand new or just new to you) I have some advice for you. And of course my advice is gold, so you better clean those glasses, take notes and a dose of Ginkgo Biloba. If you want, you can just print this page out and take it with you to the dealership.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Slow It Down Assholes
Posted June 4, 2008
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 23:07:41 | A recent event has reinvigorated my need to write this editorial.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
This Is Who Can Kiss My Ass
Posted May 10, 2008
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 23:06:37 | McDonalds just recently introduced their new Sweet Tea. I apologize and must clarify to my southern readers, as it's new here in the north.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
It's Only Radio To Me
Posted April 5, 2008
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 23:04:08 | Back in the day there was only radio, and then TV came along and pissed the radio folks off.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Helpful Advice
Posted March 2, 2008
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 23:02:40 | I've been noticing a lot of really stupid shit lately and the more I notice, the more I forget. I finally decided to start writing this stuff down so that I could get all of it off of my chest. So with that in mind, here's the first installment of "Helpful Advice". I hope this stuff helps you one day.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Rednecks And Beer
Posted Feb. 28, 2008
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 23:01:53 | Last night after work my manager and I stopped into a bar for a beer. It was his birthday and he wanted to get trashed. If I didn't have to be up at 6am, hence this being written at 7am, I would've. But that is not why I'm writing this.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Festival Goers Beware - Shitty Music Ahead
Posted Feb. 8, 2008
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 23:01:12 | The other day I'm driving down the road and flipping through the radio stations to find something worth listening to and I come across the local hard rock station. They were playing some old school Metallica and so I stopped to listen. After the song was over the DJ came on and made mention of the fact that at this year's Bonnaroo Festival Metallica would be headlining, and I nearly wrecked my car.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
She Gave Me Those "Rape Me Eyes"
Posted Jan. 3, 2008
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:57:43 | I pulled into a gas station to purchase some cigarettes so I could hand them out to children, and as I was pulling up I noticed a fairly attractive woman getting out of her car and heading to the gas station attendant. I noticed her because she parked right next to the attendant's station and after she shut her door she looked my way and then her rear lights flashed, meaning she set her car alarm.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Shop NBC Promotes Child Neglect
Posted Dec. 4, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:56:30 | The other day I'm watching TV, as I do, and a commercial came on for that all shopping network, Shop NBC. This commercial pissed me off, as they do.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
I Have Seen It
Posted Nov. 15, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:55:46 | Yes, I have seen the devil incarnate. The "anti-christ" if you will. With my very own eyes. The one thing that I thought could never happen. The one thing that absolutely solidified my belief that people... suck. What happened tonight that I witnessed with my very eyes changed the very little feeling inside of me that felt that maybe even I could be wrong about people as a whole, and that maybe the people of this world had an ounce of hope left.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Who's Hall Of Fame Is It?
Posted Nov. 10, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:54:44 | I typically don't give a shit who gets inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, but this year I heard something that pissed me off. While listening to Sirius Satellite Radio's Classic Vinyl station I found out that Madonna and the Beastie Boys are part of this years inductees, and such artists as Jethro Tull and Deep Purple are still not in.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
X-Mas Crashers
Posted Nov. 4, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:49:35 | Vince Vaughn has a new movie out called "Fred Claus" and I am now going to review it. Usually when I review movies I watch them first. This time I'm going off of every other x-mas and Vince Vaughn movies I've seen.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Sarah Silverman Is Fucking Comedy Central
Posted Oct. 29, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:48:33 | Sarah Silverman is fucking Comedy Central in two ways. One, her show is bringing down Comedy Centrals credibility. Comedy Central is one of my favorite networks, but they make some horrible decisions. Do we really need 5 hours of Mad TV every day?
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The Associated Press Sucks My Nuts
Posted Oct. 11, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:47:30 | In the news recently there was a story about a kid in Cleveland, OH that went crazy at school and shot two students and two teachers before killing himself. I know I know... at least the problem took care of itself. But I think there's more to this than meets the eye.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Can You Hear The Echoes?
Posted Aug. 15, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:46:32 | A movie reviewer's career wouldn't be complete without reviewing a quality horror/thriller suspense movie's straight to video sequel. With that said, here is my professional opinion on the movie "Stir Of Echoes 2: The Homecoming".
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Being Fat
Posted Aug. 10, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:45:43 | Apparently per capita, the United States is the fattest country in the world. I've not only heard this several times by many different people from many different sources (TV, paper, internet), but I've come to figure out how we can get rid of this once and for all.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
iDon't Give A Fuck
Posted July 11, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:44:52 | The time has come for technology to go too far, and the leader of the pack is Apple. Recently they just put out their highly anticipated "iPhone", which was obviously a concept by someone that wasn't content with the tons of bullshit currently on cell phones.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Let's Celebrate Ignorance Again
Posted June 25, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:44:08 | I've noticed a trend starting to occur, and it made me realize the yuppies of the world have gotten their hands into things once again.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
How To Order Delivery Properly
Posted June 11, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:43:04 | After both previous and recent events, I figured it was about time there was an actual protocol for ordering delivery; namely pizza. I think there are too many misconceptions involved with pizza delivery, and there aren't enough pamphlets available for some FAQ's, so here is a comprehensive list for ordering pizza, or any other meal for delivery.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
A Lesson In Driving By Beefy
Posted May 21, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:40:17 | I think the time has come for another driving lesson by me, Beefy Booyawn. Apparently I'm the only person on the road that actually gives a shit.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Rip Offs Suck
Posted April 24, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:38:14 | I've noticed some ripping off going on lately, and it's starting to piss me off. People have been ripping others off for the longest time now, and I not only know this, but I respect it to some degree. I mean, it's the American way, right?
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Freedom Of What?
Posted April 13, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:36:24 | In recent events, a broadcaster by the name of Don Imus was fired for saying something during his nationally syndicated radio show. In case you haven't heard, he went on the air and called the Rutgers Womens Basketball Team a bunch of "nappy headed hos" shortly after they lost in the NCAA championship game. Let me go on record right now and say that I never heard of this man before this story, and I've never heard his show.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
It Makes Me Wonder
Posted March 27, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:33:53 | I see things all the time that make me wonder. Naturally I see things that make no sense to me, and then I bitch about them here. But sometimes I see things that sort of make sense, but they still make me wonder.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
"Shut The Fuck Up Now" Is The New "Please Shut The Fuck Up"
Posted Feb. 24, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:32:05 | I'm so fucking sick of hearing this new shitty catch phrase "something is the new something". For instance, a guy I work with was talking about his age and came up with this enigma, "50 is the new 30".
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Like A Good Neighbor, State Farm Sucks
Posted Feb. 16, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:31:03 | August 29th, 2005. Where were you?
If you lived in or around the Gulf Of Mexico, you were getting your ass handed to you by Hurricane Katrina.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Beefy Goes To A NICE Place
Posted Jan. 27, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:29:52 | I sure did. And can you believe that I behaved myself the whole time, too?
Hell no, that's why there's an Editorial about it.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Some Of The Things I Like
Posted Jan. 10, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:29:07 | After the posting of my last Editorial, I was dared to write about something I like that didn't involve pot or alcohol. As tough as that sounded, I took on the dare. And now, right here before your eyes, I offer you an Editorial about those things I actually enjoy. And I hope you enjoy this Editorial as much as I enjoy these things.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Dance Movies Suck
Posted Jan. 9, 2007
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:27:45 | What the fuck is the deal with all of these dance movies coming out? Wasn't Dirty Dancing enough?
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
'Twas The Night Before X-Mas
Posted Dec. 21, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:26:50 | 'Twas the night before X-mas, and right through the fog
Drove a man named Beefy, speeding home for egg nog
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Prepay... OR DIE!
Posted Dec. 13, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:25:45 | This morning I was leaving for work when I realized I had no gas. It wasn't to the point where I wouldn't be making it home, it was low enough that I wouldn't be making it to work. And then I remembered how last night I was supposed to go get gas so I wouldn't have to worry about it this morning. Oops.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
P&G - What A Bunch Of Dumbasses
Posted Dec. 6, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:24:48 | In recent news, product giant P&G, based out of Cincinnati, OH, has announced their plans for a chain of high-end car washes. Apparently there's going to be a whole chain of these luxury car washes all over the city.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Just Give Me The Fucking Order
Posted Nov. 28, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:23:59 | This morning I stopped at a fast food place to get some grubbin before work. I don't normally do this anymore, but when I woke up this morning I had to shit, and shit I did. It was so bad that when I left for work, there was still a bunch of churning and bubbling. So I needed something to settle the stomach.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Definition Of "Jackass"
Posted Oct. 28, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:23:12 | In recent news, Michael J. Fox has been pushing for several political candidates to be voted into office. Fox, as you should know, has Parkinson's disease. He's pushing for certain political candidates to get into office, because they back stem-cell research, which Fox thinks would possibly cure Parkinson's. This is the only reason he's doing the political ads. "Disease is a nonpartisan problem that requires a bipartisan solution," he said.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Pussy Kids
Posted Oct. 18, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:21:53 | Since the beginning of this website and these Editorials, I have bitched about kids. I've bitched about how they're idiots, and I've bitched about how we can't discipline them when they screw up.
Now, we've officially fucked the future of our children up totally.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Teacher Fired Over Nudity
Posted Sept. 28, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:20:53 | In Frisco, TX an award winning art teacher took her fifth grade class to a Dallas museum, and one of the kids got to see a nude sculpture.
The teacher lost her job.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
How About You Bring "Shutting The Hell Up" Back?
Posted Sept. 14, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:19:39 | Lately I've been seeing a phrase that slowly piss me off. And by "slowly" I mean "right away".
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Looks Don't Matter
Posted Aug. 28, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:18:57 | I'm sitting at work being forced to watch the Turdra Banks Show and she has this very attractive woman on her show that's bitching and moaning about how her husband isn't intimate enough with her. Then they bring out the husband, and he's exactly what I thought he'd be. A trendy, yuppity, prep fuck that doesn't deserve the woman he's with.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Who Should Be Hated?
Posted Aug. 23, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:15:48 | I was watching a special on Hitler followed by a special on the KKK one day and I had an epiphony.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The Other Night
Posted Aug. 16, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:12:23 | This is a story about what happened to me the other night... if you couldn't tell from the name of this Editorial.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Talladega Bullshit
Posted Aug. 8, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:08:26 | I just got done watching the new Will Ferrell movie Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby and I couldn't have been more pissed off. I'm telling you now, if I laughed once during that movie, I laughed once.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
I'm With The Environmentalists
Posted July 16, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:07:20 | That's right, I said it. I'm with them. We need to save the earth. However, I have a different opinion on how to do it than they do. So technically I'm with them, but they're not with me. Bastard environmentalists.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Maybe Superman Will Leave Again
Posted July 13, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:03:16 | I heard several things about Superman Returns. Mostly bad stuff, but a few good things. Howard Stern for example, loves the movie. Almost everyone else though, hated it. So I thought I'd check it out because I'm a fan of Superman.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Hollywood Finally Got The Idea... Maybe
Posted July 10, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 22:00:13 | This past weekend, Disney's new action packed family film "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" cashed in a chump change $132 million in it's opening weekend. It broke records of single day and two day marks. Friday it went to $55.5 million, the first movie to do that, and Saturday it crossed the $100 million mark; the first movie to do that in two days.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
No Refill? No Shit.
Posted July 9, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:59:01 | Today I stopped and picked up a nice refreshing bottled soda and enjoyed it. As I was enjoying it, I noticed on the wrapper that goes around the plastic 20 oz bottle where it said "NO REFILL." Say what?
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
When Is Enough Finally Enough?
Posted June 29, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:57:07 | I went out shopping the other day to buy me some nice summer clothes. Since I don't have any money I decided to shop at Wal-mart. And because I was shopping at Wal-mart I decided that instead of "nice summer clothes" I'd just settle with "summer clothes."
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
They're Just Dogs
Posted June 23, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:55:59 | Every now and then I see something in the news that makes me shake my head. And every now and then in the news I see something that makes me verbally abuse the TV and/or newspaper. And every now and then I'll see something in the news that is so fucking ignorant I just have to say something via Editorial. This is one of those times.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
"Smart" Is A Bit Optimistic
Posted June 13, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:54:59 | The other day I was eating dinner with my mom and she pulls out a tub of butter and sits it on the table. I looked at it and seen that it was "Smart Balance Light."
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Could It Be?
Posted May 31, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:54:11 | Could it be the end of the Editorials? I think it could. And I know I'll get heat from Pork Sausage over this, because I gave him shit for ending his Kosher Recipe's. But now I kind of know why he did it. I mean, I always knew, but I didn't think I understood.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
I Could...
Posted May 23, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:53:02 | I hate not having anything to write about. So much so that I used my ending tag line to start this one. That's sad.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
David Blaine Is A Failure
Posted May 9, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:52:15 | I'm sure you all heard in the news by now about the antics of a Mr. David Blaine. Every year or so he does something really stupid to get his name in the news. Usually it's a very nicely staged production of him doing something normal people would never dream of doing.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Together We Can Blow Up The Earth
Posted April 29, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:51:24 | I read the news a lot and just now stumbled upon a story about a man in Tennessee that is making his own Ethanol for his gas tank. I surpassed the story of Mexico about to pass into law that it'll be ok to do cocaine, heroin, and ecstacy for this. Why? Well, because we already know those Mexicans are crazy.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
If You're Going To Commit Suicide, Do It Right
Posted April 24, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:50:19 | I was reading in the news about a man in Oregon that, while high on meth, tried to kill himself by taking a nail gun and shooting 12 nails into his head, one by one. Some of the nails were 2 inches long.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Earth Day Sucks
Posted April 19, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:49:29 | Yeah, I said it. Earth Day sucks my sweaty hairy nuts.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
I'm Going To Win The Lottery
Posted April 13, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:48:09 | A few months ago the Powerball got up to something like $360,000,000 and that's supposedly a record of some kind. And any time the Powerball or any lottery around me gets above $200 million I start to think about what I would do if I won. I do play, so I think about this a lot.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Don't Let Them Take Our Freedom
Posted March 26, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:47:13 | Whether you like him or you hate him, Tucker Max (www.tuckermax.com) has made a name for himself by living the ultimate alpha life. He drinks excessively, and jumps from woman to woman the same way. He then takes these crazy stories of debauchery and posts them on his website for all to read. He has not only gained enough financial support from this site to live the life anyone would kill for, but he's also gained a legion of fans... and enemies.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Can We Make Our Own Decisions?
Posted March 22, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:46:02 | I'm so fucking sick and god damned tired of companies, mostly large corporations but some small businesses do it, telling us what they want us to think instead of letting us make our own decisions.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Ladies And Gentlemen, Kick Ass Horrors Are Back
Posted March 12, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:45:09 | So I just got done watching George A. Romero's "Land Of The Dead" and I can't find the words to tell you how fucking awesomely awesome that movie is. But I will try.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Fuck Is A Great Word
Posted March 9, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:43:47 | Fuck really is a great word.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Love Is A Four Letter Word
Posted March 6, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:41:35 | There's a problem in this world that has been ruining the lives of many a teenager, and it's about time this problem is called out.
It's the word "love".
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
I Eat Meat On Fridays
Posted March 1, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:40:48 | Yes people, it is the time for Lent. Possibly one of the dumbest things to ever happen behind maybe only Valentine's Day and President Bush, Lent is a whopping 40 days and 40 nights of retardedness.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
TLC Sucks
Posted Feb. 25, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:39:52 | I was watching my mom's house when I turned on the TV and the first channel that came on was TLC. And the show that was on was Clean Sweep. I looked for something good on, but alas, nothing good was on, so I left it on Clean Sweep.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The "F" Sound's Mixed Identity
Posted Feb. 16, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:38:53 | I'm starting to get REALLY pissed off with the "F" sound. You know, that sound that starts words like "Frank", "Falling", and "Fuck". That sound pisses me off, unless it's the word "Fuck", then I'm ok with it.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Valentine's Day Sucks Ass
Posted Feb. 14, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:37:57 | Today is possibly one of the worst holidays ever. Valentines Day. Why is it so bad? Because it's about love. Actually it's about florists and card makers getting together to create a day that will give them a ton of business. They came up with this shit fest and now we've all bought into it and we make them tons of money so we can have false hopes. And it's initials are VD. Irony?
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Super Bowl XL Sucked
Posted Feb. 6, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:37:07 | It did. Super Bowl XL sucked. And for those of you that are Roman Numeral illiterate, that's Super Bowl 40.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Corporal Punishment Is Legal Here
Posted Feb. 4, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:36:22 | Ladies and gentlemen, I am a person that can admit when I didn't have all the facts. And truth be told, I didn't have all the facts when I talked about kids needing to be spanked more.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
God Hates Everyone. Especially You.
Posted Jan 30, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:35:35 | What did you think? You're special? Well, you were wrong again.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
I Took A Shit And Fox Turned It Into A Show
Posted Jan. 20, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:34:34 | I was sitting on the crapper a year ago and took a massive dump. Before I could even flush it there was a knock on the bathroom door. I opened it and standing in front of me were 4 Fox executives. They quickly threw me out of the way and plunged their hands into my porcelain god and grabbed out of it my log shaped waste.
A month later, The Tyra Banks Show was born.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Prices Or Quality?
Posted Jan. 15, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:33:15 | I started wondering what's happening with some different prices, or in many cases, no differnt prices, when I passed by a Motel 6 and seen their sign outside. It said, "$35.99 A Night". I started to think back to when I was a boy and my dad and I went on vacation and the only place to stay when we got to where we were going was a Motel 6, and the price for the night that I distinctly remember? $35.99.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Beefy Denies Bootsy... AGAIN
Posted Jan. 7, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:32:01 | As it turns out, I have kind of a history with Funk legend Bootsy Collins. For those of you that don't know, Bootsy is from Cincinnati, Ohio, and as such, he's always "in town". And because I work for a radio station in Cincinnati, he happens to stop by every now and then. Mostly because he knows most of the people I work with.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Kids Should Be Spanked III
Posted Jan. 3, 2006
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:30:55 | The other day in the news here, I heard a story that I desperately tried to find online. I don't remember much of the details, and that's why I needed the story, but the main point is, it was about kids doing stupid things and getting off light because they're kids.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The 2005 Hall Of Fame
Posted Dec. 28, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:29:26 | It's that time of year again. The time of year when I go over the shittiest of the shitty for the entire year. And 2005 was chock full of shitty. Why stall any more, let's get to it.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
A Beefy Carol
Posted Dec. 20, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:27:45 | Beefenezer Scrooge was sitting in his place of business. He ran a private gambling casino, took bets on horse races, operated a "female escort" service, and cooked meth. He called this place "Beefy's House o' Fun!".
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Get Rid Of AIDS The Easy Way
Posted Dec. 17, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:26:13 | What's wrong with people? For years, governments, secret organizations, and multi-billion dollar corporations have been trying to come up with the magical cure for AIDS. Their only problem is, the answer has been right in front of them the entire time. Build a dome.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
"Merry Christmas" Or "Happy Holidays"?
Posted Dec. 15, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:25:13 | Every now and then someone has to bitch about something. It doesn't matter if it's worth bitching about or not, they just have to bitch. Kind of like me. Except when I bitch, it means something. It means that something else is fucked up in the world and I have to correct it.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Bad Weather = Bad Drivers
Posted Dec. 13, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:24:22 | It's no secret that I hate everybody. And it's no secret that I hate bad drivers. About a week ago we had around 4 inches of snow fall. 4 INCHES. That equals about an inch of rain, and an inch of rain isn't anything to worry about. That's kind of ironic, because 4 inches of snow isn't anything to worry about either.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Fire Safety: Taking Shows Off Of TV Or Parenting?
Posted Nov. 29, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:23:06 | Lately in the news just in my area there have been more than several stories about children burning down their houses and catching themselves on fire. I find this very funny, for more reasons than just the kids catching on fire.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The True Story About Thanksgiving
Posted Nov. 22, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:22:19 | Year after year, elementary school after elementary school, kids are being taught the story of Thanksgiving. They are being taught that the white man had no food and the Indians killed tons of turkeys and buffalos and grew a bunch of corn and cranberries and made gallons of stuffing and they all sat down to eat a great meal. That's when they bonded and they all gave thanks to the land for the bountiful feast for which they partook in.
The problem with that story is, it's all wrong. Here's the truth about Thanksgiving.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The Ultimate In Being Homeless
Posted Nov. 18, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:21:23 | I can't believe I seen this with my own two eyes. While it wasn't anything major, it was still pretty crazy.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Eating Frenzy
Posted Nov. 10, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:17:28 | People ask me all the time, "Why do they call you 'Beefy'?" Well, the answer is simple. I love to eat. And because of that, I'm Beefy. That and I love beef. And because of my unnatural love for beef and beef products, this scenario happened.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
I Love Everyone
Posted Nov. 4, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:16:24 | I love everything. I can't believe this whole time I've been doing this site I was so hateful. I have found a new way, and that is to love everything and everyone.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
What Sucks More Than Religion? Nothing.
Posted Nov. 1, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:14:23 | What sucks more than any religion? Absofuckinglutely nothing.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Halloween - The Holiday Of The Devil
Posted Oct. 28, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:13:32 | It's that time of year again. Time to celebrate the Devil. And I for one am ready to celebrate. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, read last year's Halloween Editorial and then come back here to finish it off.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Blue Collar Waste Of Time
Posted Oct. 24, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:12:45 | I was sitting at home doing absolutely nothing over the weekend and I was trying to find something good on TV. I should know better, but I tried anyway.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Get The Stick Out Of Your Ass
Posted Oct. 21, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:11:53 | I'm so fucking sick and tired of people blaming shit on everything else instead of taking the blame themselves, or better yet, looking at things at face value.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The Coolest Story Ever
Posted Oct. 13, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:10:31 | This is the best story ever, and as far as my typing goes, it hasn't even been written yet. That's how awesome it is. What's so awesome about it? Well, it contains the 6 coolest things ever. Ninjas, Zombies, Vikings, Werewolves, Vampires, and Pirates.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
It's Called An 'ASHTRAY' For A Reason
Posted Oct. 10, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:09:38 | Since I smoke, and a lot I might add, I've noticed this "thing" many times and it pisses me off to no end. I don't know if I've noticed it more being a smoker, but I think that in the scheme of things it would still piss me off.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Doctor Assisted Suicide? Time To Get My Ph.D.
Posted Oct. 7, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:08:53 | The United States Supreme Court is currently going thru the process of making doctor assisted suicide a reality. The Supreme Court isn't allowing it, but if they were smart they'd help it become reality.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The Exorcism Of Emily Rose
Posted Oct. 4, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:08:08 | I watched this the other day with Funk, and I must say it was a good movie. It starts with some dumb ass doctor checking out Emily's dead body. Before he gets into the house he keeps looking at the barn and the house because he's obviously never been to a farm before. And he has this stupid look on his face the entire time. Sounds like a legit doctor to me.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Stupid Bitches Need Not Apply
Posted Sept. 29, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:07:16 | I can't lie, I am a member of a dating site. And while it is true that I have been checking out what's on these sites for quite some time, there are actually alternate motives for this. You may think I'm making excuses for being on there, but I didn't have to write this, did I?
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Proof God Has A Sense Of Humor
Posted Sept. 22, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:06:21 | A few weeks ago a pissed off hurricane hit New Orleans kicking their ass. Hurricane Katrina fucked some shit up and felt no remorse. New Orleans was ruined.
The best part about it is, everyone's saying it's because New Orleans is a bad city, full of sinful things.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
I Envy The Deaf
Posted Sept. 19, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:05:00 | Deaf people have got to be the happiest people on earth.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Ever Wonder Where W. Gets It From?
Posted Sept. 14, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:04:22 | Have you ever wondered where George W. Bush gets his ignorance? Have you ever wondered how he got so stupid? There's only two reasons why you'd never wonder these things. You already know where, or you don't think he's an idiot in which case, you are definitely an idiot.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
I Don't Care
Posted Sept. 7, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:03:03 | I'm outside smoking because smoking rocks, and this woman comes out to smoke. I've already met this woman before while smoking and so I knew that she'd more than likely tell me something I don't care to hear. And I was right.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Let's Kill Off Another Couple Thousand
Posted Sept. 5, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:02:21 | So a hurricane just blew thru Louisianna and a lot of people died. Not only that, but a lot of people lost their homes. I almost didn't do this Editorial, but then I realized that I don't give a fuck, so here it is.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Labor Day: A Dumb Ass Holiday
Posted Sept. 2, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 21:01:00 | So it's about that time for Labor Day. I always liked Labor Day, because it celebrates the nimble Labor. Labor's are sophisticated animals that like to hibernate in the winter and eat berries and small woodland creatures in the spring months. In the summer they swim in any water they can find to keep cool since they are very furry themselves and they are always hot. In the fall they decorate pumpkins and celebrate the devil's holiday, Halloween.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Comedy Central Is Ruined
Posted Aug. 27, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:58:40 | And you can all thank Dave Chappelle for it.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
My Toad Kicks Ass
Posted Aug. 26, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:57:37 | I bought a toad and named him Siggy because he's significantly awesome. He's a Fire Belly Toad. For those of you who don't know, they're tiny toads with an almost black back and their entire belly looks like fire. That's awesome enough. But then I fed him a cricket. That was interesting to say the least. I'd recommend everyone go buy one just to watch it eat. It doesn't have a long tongue like most frogs and toads, so it just jumps on its food and kicks its ass.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Some People Have Really Stupid Names
Posted Aug. 22, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:56:19 | It's true. Some people have stupid names. I like to say that I hate everyone, and while that is true, I have a special kind of hate for people with stupid names. This hate goes far beyond the normal hate that everyone shares. This hate gives these select few something to be proud of. They've found a new hate in me that nobody else has.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Why Do I Hate Stupidity So Much?
Posted Aug. 18, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:55:23 | Here's the answer.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The Roast Of Pamela Anderson
Posted Aug. 16, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:54:39 | So I watched the Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson and I was actually impressed. Those Roasting did a great job at belittling Pamela Anderson as well as each other, and I do believe that it's probably the funniest Roast I've ever seen.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Jesus Christ What?
Posted Aug. 12, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:52:50 | I was told by Mortiis that one of the most awesomely bad movies he'd ever seen was Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter. So, I decided to go check it out. I got ahold of a copy of the movie and sat down tonight while drunk to watch it.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The Worst Day Of Driving Ever
Posted Aug. 5, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:52:05 | This is an Editorial about what happened today as I was on my way home from work. This is all true to the best of my memory. Even though it just happened, a lot of shit happened and most of it pissed me off. That's why I say "to the best of my memory".
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Kids Turn Out Bad? Blame It On TV.
Posted Aug. 3, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:51:12 | Everyone is quick to blame TV and movies for how the kids of today act. I've always been against this because parents need to beat some underage ass. That is until I watched Batman Returns.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
My New Favorite TV Show
Posted Aug. 1, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:49:20 | I was sitting around on my ass drinking the other day when I happened to catch a reshowing of the latest episode of "Being Bobby Brown" and I couldn't stop laughing. This has got to be the funniest show ever.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Just Driving Around
Posted July 29, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:48:19 | I was in my gas sucking SUV the other day just driving around because I wanted to find out how many times I could drive up and down this one particular road before I had to get a refill. I had to do it twice because the first time I didn't really have a full tank.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The Hidden Terror On The Road
Posted July 28, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:47:16 | I just thought I'd use that title cause it's like one of those shitty newspaper headlines that is overly dramaticized just so you'll read the article.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
As I Reflect
Posted July 26, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:46:19 | As the site reaches 10,000 visitors, I thought I'd reflect on what made the site what it is today besides the obvious fact that I rule.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Bad Driver Hunters
Posted July 22, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:45:18 | As I was driving home from work I had an epiphany. It came to me as I was following and being followed by some of the worst drivers ever. This idea would not only work, but it would change driving forever.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Who's President?
Posted July 20, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:44:20 | Right after "Dubya" won his first term, everyone was speculating that Hillary Clinton would run for President in the next election. Many people were hoping she would. Some people were trying to bribe her to run just to get "Dubya" out of office. Then the moment of truth came, the next election.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Comedy Central Is Lost
Posted July 18, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:43:09 | What the fuck? I was watching Comedy Central the other night because they usually have some pretty good programming, except that they run Mad TV 100 times a day, and I seen an ad for an upcoming show... The Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Cumquat Proves Catholics Are Idiots
Posted July 15, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:41:24 | First let me tell you that I don't care much for Harry Potter myself. However, the Catholic Church, let alone Pope Cumquat, can't say a thing about entertainment being bad until they take care of the molesting priests issue.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
More Stupid People... With Cats
Posted July 13, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:39:41 | This story happens all the time. You can watch video shows where someone submits a video of a persons house being over run with cats, or you hear it in the news where some old lady is arrested for having a bunch of cats. It never ends, which is the more amazing thing, because it's getting to be a well known thing and yet there are still these dumb ass old hags that continue to have hoards of cats in their house and they wind up getting in trouble. It never ends.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
New Cars Suck
Posted July 11, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:38:38 | Every now and then a car dealership comes out with something new that doesn't suck, but that happens enough to discredit those cars and consider every car maker for ugly shitfest of the year.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The Only Thing Stupid About Pro Wrestling Are The Critics
Posted July 8, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:37:30 | I'm so pissed off at this stupid shit that I could scream. It would seem that pro wrestling has a stereotype. And that would be, that the fans of said "sport" are all rednecks, white trash, hillbillies, trailer trash, toothless, or anything of the sort. That isn't entirely true.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
From Me To Pork Sausage
Posted July 6, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:36:30 | From me to Pork Sausage.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Independence Day, A Holiday Of Idiots
Posted July 5, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:35:30 | Don't get all pissed off, I love the holiday myself. But it's full of idiots. Of course, that's kind of like saying the ocean is full of water, because if you have anything that has to do with people, it's going to be full of idiots because idiots are everywhere.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
I Rule
Posted July 3, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:34:45 | I know what many of you are thinking. You're thinking, "Beefy, I already know you rule. Tell me something I don't know." Well, I would. But you see, I don't have enough time to tell you how to rule as much as me. And I'll give you the benifit of the doubt and say that that info might be the only thing you don't know. Oh, and how not to suck.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Unkept
Posted June 30, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:33:43 | Have you seen this new crapality show called "Kept"? As if reality shows couldn't get any worse, VH1 decides to prove us all wrong by putting this waste of time out.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
You're An Idiot And You Deserve What You Got
Posted June 27, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:32:30 | Every year I see on the news several different things that never change. One is, there is a group of people that live right on the Ohio River, whether it be in Ohio or Kentucky, and every year in the spring time there is a bunch of rain, and the level of the river rises, and they get flooded.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The Epitome Of Everything That Is Stupid
Posted June 24, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:31:15 | I'm not quite sure how I stumbled upon this website, but now I'm wishing I hadn't. Ironically enough, I had already planned on writing an Editorial about how video games aren't what's rotting the minds of kids. Oh yeah, I've already done that. Well, I was going to elaborate. But now, I have a reason.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
New Addition To My Shitlist
Posted June 22, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:29:44 | Tommy Davidson, you're the new addition to Beefy's Shit List! COME ON DOWN!
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
What Could He Be Thinking?
Posted June 20, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:28:50 | Have you had the pleasure, and by pleasure I mean total and absolute wretching pain, of watching The Jane Pauley Show? I know I have.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
You're Not A Punk, Stop Being Fake
Posted June 16, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:27:34 | I am of course talking about people who THINK they are "punks" but in reality they are poseur losers.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Scion t2b = Shitty Idea
Posted June 10, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:26:15 | Every year each car maker puts out concepts of their future cars. These cars almost never make it to the streets, but they do show the public what could be. And usually what could be is nothing more than a steaming pile of fertilizer.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Bush Sucks And I Told You So
Posted June 8, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:24:55 | I told you, and I told you again, and still nobody listens to me.
George W. Bush sucks.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Let's Just Kill Everyone
Posted June 6, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:23:56 | Really. I'll be the leader of that cause. I'm so sick of the stupid surviving and multiplying. Why are they allowed to breed? Why are they allowed to breathe? The stupid run this world, and it's starting to show. Everyday, stupid people do stupid shit and they are allowed to get away with it because those above us are stupid.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Yet Another Reason Why This Country Is Lacking
Posted June 2, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:22:00 | If it isn't one thing it's another. I guess the few that speak my language on this subject will continue speaking until someone listens. In any case, here's the newest pile of horse shit that gets on my last fucking nerve.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
National Lampoon's Dorm Daze
Posted May 30, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:20:51 | I have to be honest. I only wanted to see this movie because I have a mega huge boner for Danielle Fishel, the girl that played Topanga on the show Boy Meets World, and for Tatyana Ali, Ashley on the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That and it's a National Lampoon movie, so it's got to be good, right?
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Damn, I'm Right Again
Posted May 28, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:19:47 | WHO KNEW?! I said technology was going in the wrong direction back when I wrote You're Not Cool In General, A Cell Phone's Not Gonna Help where I said, "You see, a problem with kids today is technology. Computers, cell phones, those evil fucking iPod bastards...". Now I have proof.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
My Almighty Quest For The Spork
Posted May 23, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:18:38 | Recently on the forum a discussion started about the spork, possibly the greatest invention ever. I'll share with you some of the conversation, and dive into more of my awesome quest to find The Silver Spork.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Ray Charles Was Cooler Than I Thought
Posted May 19, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:17:52 | I just got around to watching the movie "Ray" and I was impressed. Not because it was a good movie, but because Ray Charles was crazier than I originally thought.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Beefy Goes Drinking With GM, Hilarity Ensues
Posted May 17, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:17:05 | I started my day yesterday at a local sports bar with Pork Sausage and Funk at around 2pm. We hung out, had a little to eat, and drank heavily. Very heavily. I then realized that I had a meeting at work at 6:30. I realized this at 4:30.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Black Comedians, Pay Attention Again
Posted May 16, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:16:12 | This is the follow up to my last "Black Comedian" editorial, If You're A Black Comedian, Pay Attention. In that I said that I have no problem with black comedians making fun of white people. Well, now I've changed my mind.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
Posted May 13, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:15:12 | This movie kicks so much asshole that during the movie I had to fart so I leaned over to do so and I couldn't because there was a shoe in my ass. Don't believe it? Go watch it and see how big of a Nike you can fit up there.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Many Points At One Time
Posted May 11, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:13:58 | An incident happened just the other day in Northern Kentucky where a high school senior was driving down the road at 10pm with his headlights out and he was text messaging someone. Some 2 1/2 year old kid was crossing the street with his family and the car hit him, dragging him 68 feet. The kid died, and now the high school senior is facing 1 to 5 years in prison for killing the kid.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Problems At McDonald's
Posted May 6, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:12:39 | Yeah, no kidding. I had a problem at McDonald's. Can you believe it? You should without any proof. I'll give it to you anyway. This happened to me the other day when Pork Sausage and I went out to see the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which I'll be writing a review of soon. So yes, this really happened. It's not that crazy, but I just had to tell it to the masses.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
I've Been Found Out
Posted May 5, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:08:54 | Yeah, I've been found. My step dad for some reason has internet access, and now knows my website.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
How I Spent My Vacation
Posted May 2, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:07:04 | Drunk?
No.
Did I want to be drunk?
Yes.
Did I NEED to be drunk?
Absofuckinglutely.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Why Natural Selection Is Around
Posted April 26, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:04:41 | I'm sitting here watching Maximum Exposure. If you haven't seen it, look in your local tv listings and see when it's on, then watch it. If you can't, Tivo it, record it, whatever. But make sure you watch it. It has got to be the best show ever.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
We Have A New Pope
Posted April 19, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:03:33 | Yup. The world has a new Pope and I couldn't be happier. Just kidding. I could be a lot happier. I don't give a shit about the new Pope. He's not my Pope. That and I lost money.
More ...
1001 comments--Add comment |
Donating Blood Again
Posted April 18, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:02:44 | I posted an editorial back in January called Donating Blood and I said there that Hoxworth had been calling me for two straight months about coming in to donate blood. You see, I have this rare blood that anyone can use. Which basically means I'm the man. As if you needed any more proof.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
A Fun Night At Hooters
Posted April 13, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 20:00:07 | Tonight I'm going out with Rhino and some other friends of mine for GB's birthday and we're going to Hooters. Thinking of this made me think of 3 years ago when we went to another Hooters for GB's birthday and the events that happened that night. I just couldn't believe that I never posted this anywhere. So, here's what happened. This is all true.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Being In The Wrong Place Sucks
Posted April 6, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 19:59:04 | Have you ever been in a place or situation where you knew you shouldn't be there? That's where I was last night.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Pope John Paul II Is Dead
Posted April 4, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 19:58:14 | It's about time. I for one have been waiting for a long time for this. Not to sound like an ass, but come on... he was 85 fucking years old. And then they put a feeding tube in him. Why? HE'S 85 YEARS OLD.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The True Meaning Of April Fool's Day
Posted April 1, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 19:57:19 | There's only one reason to have a "holiday" like this. To fuck with as many people as you can and legally get away with it.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Beefy Booyawn Goes To White Castle
Posted March 28, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 19:56:28 | I was watching the movie Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle the other day with my dad and his new girlfriend. First let me review the movie.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
You'd Think That Being Right All The Time Would Be Great, But It's Not
Posted March 22, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 19:55:27 | Yes, that's right. I predicted it, and now I say unto you all, I TOLD YOU SO.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
No, That's Not What's Hot
Posted March 20, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 19:54:03 | I've gone off on how much I hate certain catch phrases before, I think... that's what tons of alcohol and weed do to you. But there's a new batch of catch phrases that's really pissing me off. I mean like super mega pissed.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The Greatest Holiday In The World
Posted March 17, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 19:50:56 | I had to write a small thing about St. Patrick's Day. How awesome is a holiday where you're SUPPOSED to get drunk?
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Who The Fuck Is Vanessa Carlton Anyway?
Posted March 14, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 19:50:01 | That's all I want to know. Who the hell does she think she is? I'm sure you've seen her ad for Time Warner Cable (if it's in your area). She's the stupid bitch that plays the piano and "sings" that song "Time, is on my side, yes it is..." and she not only ruins it, but she puts shame and disgrace on piano players all over the world, not to mention her family.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
"Instant" Oil Change My Ass
Posted March 10, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 19:48:54 | So I went to Valvoline Instant Oil Change to have my oil changed. Why? For two reasons. One, because they've almost always done a good job. Two, because I'm a lazy fuck. Yeah, I could do it if I wanted to, but I really don't want to.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The Things You Think About While Leaving A Shit
Posted March 9, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 19:47:45 | So I was leaving a dump the other day and while I was sitting on my throne I started thinking. I mean, while I'm on my throne that's all I do is think the most absurd shit... no pun intended.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Even More Stupid Bitches
Posted March 7, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 19:46:31 | First and foremost, I'd like to thank Blackstreet for making an R&B song that all drunk white people will line dance to. Thank you Blackstreet.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
I Love Jesus Christ
Posted March 4, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 19:45:33 | I love Jesus Christ.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
If You're A Stupid Bitch, Keep Your Thoughts To Yourself
Posted March 3, 2005
Posted by beefy on Fri Sep 26, 2008 19:44:27 | This one is simple. And by the way, for all of you who think I'm a stupid bitch and I should keep my thoughts to myself, suck a fart out of my ass. Nobody is forcing you to read this. I'm talking about those people who let it be known by all around them, whether you want to hear them or not, that they are a stupid bitch.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
A Call With Pork Sausage
Posted Feb. 28, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 03:13:31 | I just got off of the phone and I thought I'd share with you the types of conversations I have with Pork Sausage. We usually talk every day and it's never really about something worthwhile. It's usually about nothing at all, and it's always interesting.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
If You're A Black Comedian, Pay Attention
Posted Feb. 25, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 03:12:32 | I'm going to start with a little known fact. As many of you know, I work for a radio station. Well, it's an urban talk station. I am one of few white people here. I've never been racist considering I hate everyone equally, but I was raised to not hate someone because of the color of their skin. I am most assuredly not racist. With that said...
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Dawn Of The Dead Kicks Massive Assholes
Posted Feb. 20, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 03:11:31 | Ok so, I had heard a lot of talk about how awesome this movie was, and I finally just bought the damn thing and watched it and I must say that it was all it was cracked up to be.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
A Day In The Life
Posted Feb. 18, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 03:10:44 | Last night I went to play darts as I do. Darts started at 7:30pm. At that point I had been up for 24 1/2 hours. I started the evening by going out to dinner. I got buffalo wings and a lot of beer. On top of that beer I had a giant Beam and Coke. At one point I was drinking some beer and the Beam and Coke at the same exact time. Didn't taste too bad, and it's a faster way to drink.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
'The Grudge' Against Making A Good Movie
Posted Feb. 17, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 03:08:28 | The Grudge was an odd movie to say the least. Here's what the movie is about.
More ...
1 comments--Add comment |
The Drunkening 2005
Posted Feb. 15, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 03:02:48 | The first annual Drunkening happened this past weekend and it was the most fucked up time I've had in a long time... maybe ever. My good friend Pork Sausage and I decided to do this when we read a story about a man that drank so much he reached a .914 BAC which astounded everyone because technically you're supposed to die at .55. So we thought, "if he can do it, why can't we?"
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Pork Sausage's Birthday Story
Posted Feb. 12, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:53:43 | I thought I'd share the story of my buddy Pork Sausage's birthday since there were some humorous things that happened. That and if I don't he won't because his editorials come out once a year it seems. Anyway... here's how the night went to the best of my recollection.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Problems
Posted Feb. 10, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:52:46 | I know I've talked about the problems of our future and all, but I just keep seeing stupid assholes in this world getting benefits over me that just truely pisses me off. I have a feeling this is going to be an ongoing editorial with me.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Fuck New England, Fuck Will Smith, Fuck Corey Dillon
Posted Feb. 7, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:51:18 | I just watched Superbowl 39 as did most of America and a good portion of the rest of the world I guess. At least those with TV's, which probably isn't most. Whatever, I'm drunk and pissed, so follow along with me if you can.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Retarded Websites
Posted Feb. 5, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:50:20 | No I'm not talking about websites devoted to the retarded. I'm talking about stupid websites. There are millions of them. Hell, you probably think this is one of them. Fuck you.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Drunk January
Posted Feb. 3, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:49:20 | Ever wonder what it's like to be drunk for an entire month? It's very exhausting. I need about a weeks worth of sleep just to try to catch up. I started with my dumb ass New Years Resolution to where I wasn't going to drink anything but water for all of January and turned it into being drunk from day one to the very last day of the month.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Reality Shows Suck
Posted Jan. 31, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:48:25 | Reality Shows do suck. I don't care what you have to say about it, because you are wrong and I am right.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Can I Bitch For Just A Minute?
Posted Jan. 25, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:47:25 | Ok, so I don't know why I asked cause I'm going to do it anyway, and I don't know why I said for a minute cause I know it's going to be a lot longer.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Spongebob Isn't Gay, Christians Are
Posted Jan. 21, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:45:37 | Apparently a bunch of shit licking ass fuck right wing Christians think the children's cartoon Spongebob Squarepants is gay. As it turns out, the show isn't gay, they are.
More ...
1 comments--Add comment |
The Whole Jennifer Aniston/Restraining Order Story
Posted Jan. 20, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:44:33 | For a while now I've made mention occasionally on my forum about how there's a restraining order on me from Jennifer Aniston and so I thought I'd finally post the story of how it came to be.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Sign This Online Petition!!!
Jan. 20, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:42:20 | Sign This Online Petition!!!
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Old People Piss Me Off
Posted Jan. 18, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:41:12 | There are many things that old people do that pisses me off. Living is the main one. But let me tell you about one thing that really just confuses me.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Donating Blood
Posted Jan. 13, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:40:19 | I am a firm believer in giving blood for several reasons, but mainly for the reason that I pass out just about every time I give blood. The first time I passed out it was by accident and I'll go thru the stories in a bit. But when I found out WHY I passed out, I continued to "cause" myself to pass out because that shit rocks.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Coach Carter
Posted Jan. 12, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:39:18 | So I just got to see a sneak preview of the movie Coach Carter starring Samuel L. Jackson and And1. For those of you who don't know who And1 is, it's a streetball team that travels the U.S. playing other streetball teams and making mix tapes that they sell on their site. They definitely have skills and they are fun to watch.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
You're Not Cool In General, A Cell Phone's Not Gonna Help
Posted Jan. 11, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:37:39 | I got an email from a guy who wanted me to write some stuff, and usually I get emails like this and I don't think twice about it, but it just so happened his idea was something I had already been thinking about since I had just seen this happen and it pissed me off.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Are You Anointed?
Posted Jan. 8, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:36:45 | I can officially say those late night prayer/evangelist/bullshit/asshole gathering/religious shows piss me off more than anything on earth. Yes, even more than you do.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
How Drunk I Am
Posted Jan. 6, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:35:25 | Folks, let me first start off by saying that I am currently drunk. I didn't think I'd still be, but I am. Therefore, I am writing to tell you just how drunk I am. Keep in mind that while drunk I will probably go off on several different things before getting to the point that I will eventually try to make. Also note that there will probably be some horrible spelling mistakes. Even though most of it might be typed ok, that is only because I hate spelling shit wrong. Anyway...
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Don't Drop It Like It's Hot, Just Drop It
Posted Jan. 3, 2005
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:32:27 | Seriously. If I hear one more person throw the phrase "drop it like it's hot" into general conversation one more fucking time, I'm going to drop them off of a building into a pool of hot wax.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The 2004 Hall Of Fame
Posted Dec. 31, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:31:09 | Every year we are under attack from everyone who is retarded. The media, Hollywood, the music industry, everyone. So instead of doing a year in review, I thought I'd start a new thing here where I'll go down the list and show off all of the retarded shit that bombarded us this past year.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
My New Year Resolution
Posted Dec. 27, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:29:25 | Every year a bunch of whiney little bitches make New Year resolutions that they never keep. "I'm gonna do this" "I'm gonna do that" and usually if anything, they only last at most a month before going back to their shitty lifestyle.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
X-mas Sucks
Posted Dec. 20, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:27:32 | I spelled Christmas with an "X" because it pisses people off. They usually say, "You're taking Christ out of Christmas." Yeah ok, yet you still go buy presents for everyone and set up a tree with flashing lights on it. Does that get you closer to Christ?
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
How I Was Almost Thrown Out Of Chicago
Posted Dec. 17, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:26:35 | I really wanted to give you something from my life, something crazy that I did. I've done a few crazy things, but this is probably the craziest, or dumbest, however you want to look at it.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Being Retrosexual Is Bullshit
Posted Dec. 13, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:25:37 | You want to hear some retarded ass bullshit that's getting bigger and stronger every day? It's called "something" sexual. You can fill in anything you want where the "something" is and it's all the same. Metrosexual and Retrosexual are the new ones, at least that I've heard of, and they're both fucking stupid.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Kids Should Be Spanked II
Posted Dec. 11, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:24:14 | Right after the first editorial on kids being spanked, a family in Enterprise, Florida has a moment. They must've read my article.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
I Have The Perfect Date For Jared From Subway
Dec. 6, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:23:01 | So I was watching TV with a friend of mine and that damn Subway commercial kept showing. Which one? Any of them. And my friend and I both decided that Jared would be the perfect match for that Verizon Wireless guy. That's right, they both seem gay to us.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Kids Should Be Spanked
Posted Dec. 1, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:21:43 | Remember the good old days when you'd act up and your parents would beat the hell out of you? At this date (look above), if you're under 19 years old, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, and quite frankly, I'm not talking to you.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Pay Homage To The Best Video Game Ever
Posted Nov. 29, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:19:51 | Pay Homage To The Best Video Game Ever
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Hey ESPN...
Posted Nov. 27, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:18:42 | I have a question for ESPN. Could you show it just ONE MORE time? I'm talking about the basketball fight that took place between Ron Artest of the Indiana Pacers and some fans who threw shit at him.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Take The Test. Are You An Idiot?
Posted Nov. 25, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:15:23 | Take the test. Are you an idiot?
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Cadillac Does NOT Mean Rock
Posted Nov. 24, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:14:01 | Since when is Cadillac synonymous with rock and roll? Every time I see one of their commercials with the Led Zeppelin playing I just can't bring myself to get into Cadillac. Why? Because they're liars. They are deceiving you.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
English Lesson
Posted Nov. 22, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:13:03 | Here's something that pisses me off to no end. I know I'm not perfect when it comes to spelling, but at least I get the important words right. All too often I've seen these two spelling errors, and it's about time I said something about it.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
There Is No Safe Cigarette.
Posted Nov. 18, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:12:03 | Thank god. I wouldn't want someone else having something that isn't as dangerous as mine is. Where's the fun there?
More ...
1 comments--Add comment |
Don't want to be video taped nude? Don't go here.
Posted Nov. 14, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:11:03 | A few months ago, there was a tanning place that was caught secretly video taping their customers as they tanned in the nude. Finally the man who owned the place is on trial, but this is what I don't understand.
The name of the place is called Maximum Exposure. With a name like that, wouldn't you expect to get video recorded?
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The Death Penalty Kicks Ass
Posted Nov. 11, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:09:54 | I think the Death Penalty should be enforced everywhere. And not just at a State level. I think it should be on a city level.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Drunk Animals Are Funny
Posted Nov. 9, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:09:03 | Have you ever been at a party, or just sitting at home by yourself and getting drunk when you suddenly realized your dog is hammered? Chances are good that he walked up to your can of beer when you weren't looking and poured himself some in his bowl and then drank to his hearts content.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Invisible Guns
Posted Nov. 7, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:07:47 | No, I'm not talking about WMD, even though those seem to be invisible as well. We keep looking and looking, but we just can't seem to find them...
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Bush Is A Pompous Asshole
Posted Nov. 3, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:06:39 | So the voting is over and Bush is the President AGAIN. Good lord. Can this country get any dumber? Considering we had a President that couldn't form full sentences without stumbling over big words and not so big words like "nucular" (nuclear) and choking on pretzels... and we vote him in AGAIN.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The Day After Tomorrow
Posted Nov. 2, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:05:05 | The Day After Tomorrow is simply a movie about Mother Nature getting pissed off and kicking everyone's ass.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Do Not See The Movie "Saw"
Posted Nov. 1, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:04:08 | Ok, so I went a couple of days ago to watch the new movie "Saw". I thought I'd write an editorial about it considering how much it sucked.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Kill All The Deer
Posted Oct. 31, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:02:44 | Why is there a law that in most areas makes it illegal to kill deer? I think it should be a law that if you see a deer anywhere at any time, you can shoot his ass, drag him home, and fry him up.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
It's All Your Fault
Oct. 29, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:01:41 | This article is all on the topic of how you screwed everything up. Everything. I'll start with your parents divorce.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Down With Nascar
Posted Oct. 27, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 02:00:18 | Nascar has got to be the most retarded "sport" of all time. More so than Cricket, Golf, and Soccor all together. And believe me, Soccor is one of the gayest sports of all time.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Horror Movies Suck Now
Posted Oct. 25, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 01:58:41 | There are too many horror movies being made now that lick balls. Usually these movies all come out around Halloween time, so every October there are a shit load of them whoring themselves around the country trying to make their mark in the anals of horror movie history. However, not all "horror" movies, especially that come out now, are actually horror movies. They are given the rim job classification of "Suspense Thriller". Here's how you tell the difference.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
The Sexiness of the President/The Future of Our Country
Posted Oct. 22, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 01:57:25 | So I'm watching the TV and the news is on. I happen to see a story about how President Bush's daughters stop into my city and talk with the people.
So to clear up the subject of this topic, the sexiness of the President is his daughters. I never realized just how hot these two illegally drinking, alcoholic party goers are.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
You're Old And Your Band Still Sucks
Posted Oct. 21, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 01:56:01 | I had to say something about this. I've been holding it in for about a month now and the time has come for it to all come out.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
I Hate Mini Coopers
Posted Oct. 20, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 01:54:54 | I was at work today and I seen this Mini Cooper parked in our garage. It was a cute little yellow Cooper with a license plate that read, "Mini Txi", obviously meaning "Mini Taxi".
Isn't that cute? A little yellow Mini Cooper, with a license plate that says "Mini Txi". Oh man, that has so many cute little meanings. It's a Mini Cooper, and it's a "Mini Taxi". It's yellow, and Taxi's are yellow. Oh man the irony!
This only helps me come to the conclusion that Mini Coopers are little pieces of shit and so are their owners.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Why Vote?
Posted Oct. 19, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 01:53:32 | So I had an article here, but someone changed it. I don't know why, but my guess is it was because I was telling the world, rather the American people, not to vote.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
What Halloween Means To Me
Posted Oct. 18, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 01:52:29 | There's a little comic strip that tells about the story of Halloween and then tries to get you to turn religious and tell the devil to fuck off and then you won't get to dress up in a costume and get candy. That's fucked up. Dressing up and getting free candy from a bunch of people that you don't know is how we're supposed to do things.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Bad Drivers Should Die
Posted Oct. 15, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 01:51:24 | I firmly believe that all bad drivers should die. I'm not joking so much either. I really want them to die. I have nothing but hatred for people who get behind the wheel of a car and put everything in jeopardy just because they feel they can slack as much as they want.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Quit Yer Bitching
Posted Oct. 11, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 01:50:18 | Would it be too much to ask everyone to just shut the fuck up for just a minute?
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Disney Sucks
Posted Oct. 7, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 01:49:31 | Whatever happened to the good old fashioned porn shots in Disney movies?
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Problems With Our Future
Posted Oct. 6, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 01:48:38 | I was listening to the radio today, and I've been hearing this commercial a lot lately for the Boy Scouts. Personally, I appreciate the Boy Scouts. They teach kids how to use team work and nature to do whatever they want. They learn valuable skills and it makes them into better people.
With that said, I think the Boy Scouts are fucking idiots.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
Who Should Put The Toilet Seat Down?
Posted Oct. 5, 2004
Posted by beefy on Thu Sep 25, 2008 01:44:24 | Have you ever had to pee so bad that when you finally did you had an orgasm? I don't know if the women can answer this or not, though I don't really know how all your stuff works, but for guys, I'm sure you've had one like this before.
More ...
0 comments--Add comment |
| |