I got stuff for sale. So buy it.
Under my pen name, my alter ego if you will, Matt Roberts, you can purchase my books that I have written. They are awesome and rock hard, so you should buy one of each, or multiple of each.
I also designed some funny t-shirts and other miscellaneous stuff that you should purchase.
You can view or purchase that crap here, Cafepress.com/HouseOFun.