Category Archives: Bitching

I bitch a lot.

The Price Of Being Nice

The company I work for has a rewards program, because who the fuck doesn’t nowadays, amirite? This rewards program started sometime around 2004. I was delivering pizzas then for another company than the one I recently left, when it started. Gas was around $4 a gallon here (it’s currently around $2.70) and everyone was pissed off. When this rewards program started, it offered everybody who signed up a five or ten cent discount per gallon, I can’t remember which, and that naturally got everyone to sign up like I did.

That discount only lasted until the end of that summer, but the perks for using it are still going. If you buy so much shit and scan your card, you get free shit. You can also get gift cards for restaurants or free gas. You know how it works, right?

At this point, more than a decade later, the only people who don’t know about the program are those people who moved to the east coast from the west coast or to here from another country, because our gas station is only on the east coast. Hell, we have kids who come in with their own cards. They can actually save money on gas, and they’re not old enough to drive. Excellent.

The point here is, BY NOW, most of the people who regularly shop at any of these stations knows about the card and the rewards program, and they have made up their minds whether they want to have a card or not. Hell, most of the people I ask for their card tell me they left it on their key ring in their car, because most of the people stopping in for stuff other than gas leave their cars running, and thus leave their rewards cards in the car. Kind of pointless to have the fucking thing in the first place, but whatever, that’s their choice.

Now, here’s problem number uno. Recently I was told that I had made a list of employees, company wide, who had fallen below a 50% scan rate of the cards. The memo said something about how we have to make all of our customers aware of the program (I covered this, it has been around for over a decade, everybody fucking knows about it) and that we, as employees, should push it more so that we get above the 50% scan rate per week.

That sounds right. Right? They want their customers to know about the program and to sign up for it. Sure, why not? They have the system in place, they want people to use it.

EXCEPT, for those who absolutely do not want it, like all of those customers who have known about it for over a decade and haven’t got one yet, like all of those customers who give me attitude when I ask if they have one because they’re sick of fucking hearing it and they’re sick of being told how they should get one, like all of those customers who are running late to work and only stopped in for a coffee and don’t want to be bothered, they’re never going to sign up for one. Who do I have left to tell about the program?

Fucking nobody, that’s who.
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Android Game Reviews

These last few months of not having the internet have given me ample time to watch Netflix and play games on my cell phone. I have been playing games on my phone for quite some time, and watching Netflix a lot, for that matter. I just did both more.

All of these games are free to play.


Hill Climb Racing


android-hill-climb-racingThe first game I’m addicted to is Hill Climb Racing by Fingersoft. I’m not sure how my scores are compared to others around the world, but amongst those people I know who play it, I dominate. So if you play and have some high scores, let me know. We’ll compare notes.

Hill Climb Racing is a very easy to play, good for all ages kind of game. You play as Newton Bill, who drives a wide range of vehicles along a wide range of levels. Each level has its unique challenges and difficulty levels, and each car has its own characteristics. Figuring out which vehicle works best on which track for you is essential. You collect coins so you can buy new vehicles and levels, as well as upgrade the vehicles you already own.

HCR is a very addictive side scroller with plenty of achievements for you to achieve. I’ve never had any issues with this game and they update it with new cars and levels regularly. It’s one of Google Play’s top games, and one I highly recommend for a very good time killer.


iMobsters


android-imobstersI’ve been playing iMobsters longer than any other game. I had one account and lost it when I switched phones, but I’ve had my current account since then, through multiple phone changes, and I’m almost done with the levels. It’s a fun game, and the game play is just like that of many other games by Storm8. They just change pictures and words around, and depending on what you happen to be more interested in, you’re sure to find a game you’ll like.

I’m hoping there’s something after the levels are done, cause I don’t know if I’ll keep playing it if there aren’t. And I don’t know if I can handle not playing it anymore.

You spin turns to complete objectives. You buy stuff to make money. You attack other players. It’s heavily based off of those pimp games that were so popular 10 years ago and are still going on today (I used to run one called Cartelz).

My only issue with the game is if you switch devices, you have to go through a lot of bullshit just to continue using your old account on your new phone. It seems to me that it should be a much easier or simpler process than it is, and Storm8 should have figured that out long ago. Still though, it’s worth playing if you feel like possibly killing a few years of your life with it. I’ve literally missed a half dozen days total playing that game in the last 4 or 5 years. I play it every day, religiously. My name there is John Ravioli and my Mob Code is WG4ATP, if you want to add me to your Mob.
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The Epic Return And Other Shit

“Beefy! Just where in the fuckin’ fuckity fuck have you been?!”

Where the fuckin’ fuckity fuck, indeed.

Shortly after I started my new job at a gas station working the graveyard shift, my wife decided she wanted to rearrange our living quarters. This meant moving everything but my computer. The new location for the router was too far away for the cable to plug into it and give it internet, so we had to put it in a different, temporary location, which meant my computer wasn’t going to be able to hook into it until it was in its new permanent location. So I went without internet.

For about four months.

I could have easily rigged something up, but I didn’t want to bother with it. We could have easily went to the store and got what we needed to fix it, which wasn’t much, but we didn’t. And I found the longer I went without internet, the more I didn’t miss it. It got to the point that when we finally did fix the problems and get my computer hooked up, I almost didn’t hook it up.

I was done with Facebook, all of my email accounts, and even blogging. I still used Twitter all the time because I have it on my phone. That was all the internet I needed.

But, I did hook it up and now I’m back. I feel like I have no time to be on it anyway because all it seems I do anymore is work and sleep, but I will try to get all of the blogs written that I’ve been thinking about lately. We’ll see if I can stay awake long enough to hash them out.

Speaking of my job, oh man. I can’t say I don’t like it, because I actually really enjoy my job. But that line from Clerks, “This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers,” is so spot on. It’s almost prophetic.
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Delivery Tales: Terrible Customers

There’s always going to be the assholes who don’t tip. There’s always going to be those assholes who not only don’t tip, but make finding them, and dealing with them, HELL, before not tipping. But then there are those customers on a whole other level, that makes the regular stiffer not so bad.

Back when I first started delivering, I didn’t know then what I know now and I would have dealt with these customers differently. But, it’s all a part of the learning curve.

The first one I remember, and will always remember, was to a barber school. They had placed a big order for lunch and I got to take it. They were already known as stiffers, so I didn’t expect to get a tip. But unfortunately for me, the company I worked for at the time had itemized order slips that showed the price for everything ordered, and everyone who ordered paid exactly what they owed. Not only did I not get a tip, but I didn’t get the tax or the delivery fee, and I also didn’t get the money, somehow, for one of the things ordered.

Not that it matters, but the school was made up entirely of black students and teachers. I only bring that up because it seemed to me, at the time and even now, that me being white was a major cause of some of the things they said.
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Editorial Archives: I’m With The Environmentalists

beefybooyawn:

Not only is Bill Burr one of the funniest people on earth right now, he also knows the way to my heart. By killing almost everybody. I’ve been saying it for years and now he’s taking his celebrity status to broadcast the message to the masses more than I can. Thanks Bill, you’re a true stand-up guy. And I’m not just saying that because you’re a stand-up who happens to be a guy.

bill-burr-85-need-to-die

Don’t mind the bad grammar and what not. This was a long time ago, before I realized how terrible I am at writing. Now I know, but I still do it. And don’t forget to check out Bill’s new stand-up special on Netflix, I’m Sorry You Feel That Way. It will dominate your life.

Originally posted on Beefy's House o' Fun:

I’m With The Environmentalists
July 16, 2006

That’s right, I said it. I’m with them. We need to save the earth. However, I have a different opinion on how to do it than they do. So technically I’m with them, but they’re not with me. Bastard environmentalists.

What got me thinking about it was when I got a free issue of E/The Environmental Magazine. It was then that I first realized how ironically stupid it is for an environmental magazine to be published. Aren’t magazines made out of trees?

What I keep reading about is how the ice caps are going to melt and the coast lines will be in danger in something like 100 years, or some such time frame when the current population on earth will not be around. I then read about all of these ways we can help stop it, or at least slow down…

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