Category Archives: Bitching

I bitch a lot.

Crips, Bloods, And Juggalos

Making its rounds in the news lately, is a story about how the Insane Clown Posse is suing the FBI for labeling their fans, “Juggalos,” a gang. A great piece (much better than the original one I read) about it can be found here, including two Youtube videos of the two members of ICP, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, speaking out against the FBI and this ruling.

Despite what you think of ICP or their fans, this is complete bullshit on every level. Seriously. You can hate them all you want, but it’s like saying if you’re a fan of Green Day or Martina McBride, and you wear one of their shirts out in public, the cops can stop you and add your name to a database that says you’re in a gang. It doesn’t matter if you’re driving to work, or if you’re out with your family enjoying a picnic, or if you’re in the armed forces.

Let’s say you forgot to do laundry one day but you had to run to the store for milk so you could feed your little kids some cereal, and you throw on an ICP shirt because it’s laying around. You bought it back in 1994 at one of their concerts when you were thirteen. Now you’re a 33 year old marine who just came home from a tour overseas and you’re spending your last day at home with your kids before you have to go back. You go to the store to get some milk and BAM! You’re pulled over by the cops, they see your shirt, and now you’re in a database as a gang member. Thanks for fighting for our freedom and having to feed your kids whom you might never see again after today. Fucking gang member. Who are you to listen to music when you were barely a teenager twenty years ago?

ICP Hatchetman. This is a gang symbol. Good job, FBI.

ICP Hatchetman. This is a gang symbol. Good job, FBI.

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They’re Coming To Take Me Away

You may not know this, but I’m a paranoid guy. Seriously. I grew up paranoid, and even now it’s something that haunts me. Like, it’s a real thing.


When I was a kid living with my dad, we lived in a cul-de-sac. Any time during the day or night, if my dad was in the living room and somebody came to the end of the street and turned around, or even if one of the neighbors pulled into their driveway, he would get up, go to the window, and look out. Just to see who it was. That made me paranoid.

It followed me. As a teenager I lived with my mom and I had this one window in my bedroom that was high up on the wall. It was just high enough that I could look out it while standing up. Even then I thought, at night, people were in the back yard just watching me from it, even though in order to see me I would have had to be standing at the window, and they would have had to be quite a distance away from me, and they would have only seen my head.
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The Dumbest Guy I Know

Think about the dumbest person you know, and then know that I know someone dumber than that person you’re thinking of.

I’m not going to say who he is or where I know him from, because that could get some people in some shit, potentially. I will say this, though. He’s a security guard for a hotel. I deliver pizza to a LOT of hotels, and I just so happen to see this guy every now and then.

When I first met him, I heard some of his stories about young love and sexual conquest, and I didn’t know better so I just thought he had it going on. Like BOW CHICKA BOW BOW style. When I started getting to know him better I started realizing that he’s just so terribly full of shit that it has overflown and it comes out of his mouth. A lot.

His problem is, he not only spews forth this bullshit, all the time, about everything, but he also believes most of it. The worst part is, he can’t help himself. Every time he opens his mouth, he’s going to lie about something. From the grandest of the grand, to the smallest, most insignificant shit. He just has to lie.

What’s even sadder is, his sister has Down Syndrome (his other sister is a lesbian, I don’t think that matters much) and I’m pretty sure he was born slightly Down Syndrome himself. He’s a fully functioning adult, you can have serious discussions with him about anything, but he has that look. I don’t mean to make fun of anybody with any sort of Syndrome or mental retardation, but he has that look to him that most of those people have. Like he’s a few der-der-der’s shy of full blown retard.
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Driver Crashes Into Walgreens

My wife and I were on our way home from work this morning when we passed by a Walgreens and noticed a bunch of Cincinnati cops parked in the lot. Then we noticed a bunch of news vans parked in the lot. Then we noticed the front doors smashed out, and the inside destroyed.

This Walgreens is just a few blocks from our house. Our neighborhood is the kind of neighborhood that when something like this happens, the residents go, “Oh, is that ALL that happened?”

Because here in Hartwell, we deal with some shit. Like when the pizza shop owner was robbed and shot to death, just a little farther down the street from Walgreens. That was about this time last year. Terrible stuff. The guy who did it was caught, but still, terrible.
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Fuck You, Microsoft

Is anybody else having this issue? I have an Xbox 360 and I’ve got it hooked up to the internet. I USED to play online, but haven’t for a while. The only reason I have it hooked up online is to use Netflix.

My wife and I play a video game together. One. Almost every day. In order to play this game, she has to login as a second player. If I just play it myself, no problems. But when she goes to login, every fifth time it asks her to validate her email. She’s tried numerous times, yet every time it says there’s an issue and it won’t allow her to do it. So we’re now forced to see that all the fucking time.

But now… NOW… it won’t let us login at all. It asks ME to verify my email and password. When I go to do it, it has both saved from the last time, which I told it to do, and then it says it can’t validate because of an error. And then WE CAN’T PLAY THE GAME. It won’t let us play the game. We’re not trying to play it online. We’re just wanting to play it. Two player action. On our TV. That’s it.

I have a video game system that won’t let me play video games.

I’m so fucking sick and tired of this shit. All I want to do is play video games. That’s it. No more, no less. And my video game system won’t allow me to play them.

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH THIS? I’m so fucking pissed right now I can’t think straight. I don’t even know how to tackle this problem. I went to Xbox’s website and was lost. I’m so fucking mad I can’t even fucking think. Because the logic here just… it’s a video game console, and it won’t let me play video games. Of all the things needed to play video games (a console, a controller, a video game) not having my email address and password validated (WHICH THEY ALREADY FUCKING ARE) shouldn’t have any god damn effect on it. At all.

This is why you suck, Microsoft. This is why you’re a joke. This is why you’re a gigantic piece of shit. Fuck you, you suck, I’m done with you. I’m trading this shitty 360 in and from here on I’ll only play my Genesis. You know, a video game system that allows you to play video games! Imagine that.

Soon I’ll be completely done with you, Microsoft. Fuck you, your “game” systems, and your shitty fucking operating systems, which barely fucking operate. Fuck you, fuck you.

Fuck you.