Category Archives: Movies

I like movies. My reviews will probably contain spoilers. Consider yourself warned.

The Deadites Will Rise Again

Carrying on with my updates of movie sequels I’d love to see, Sam Raimi is currently in the news right now, and at the moment the news is the number one trending story on Facebook. Sam Raimi is working on a TV show for The Evil Dead, and Bruce Campbell is going to be Ash on it.

And this is no shit. Absolutely true.

Fantastic news! Right? Well sure it is, because us Evil Dead fans will take whatever we can get, and it’s been too fucking long of a wait! I don’t count the reboot. It didn’t have the charm the original did.

I read it and I was happy at first. That was my initial reaction when I first saw the headline. But it was tainted with a moment of dread. I couldn’t figure out why at first, but then it hit me. A short while back, before Sam Raimi released Oz The Great And Powerful, he said after Oz… he was going to work on Army Of Darkness 2 and Campbell would reprise the role of Ash. And I was pumped. Everyone who was a fan of The Evil Dead trilogy was pumped. This was awesome and it needed to happen. It would be the greatest thing ever, of all time, ever.
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Abigail Breslin, Zombies, And Sequels

In trying to keep up with those movie sequels that I’d love to see happen, I decided to check out if Zombieland 2 was ever going to be a thing. Sure there was that horrific failure of a TV show Amazon did, or attempted to do, but that doesn’t count. Fans of the first movie are still hoping for a sequel with the stars from the first film, not some terrible, second rate, “OTHER” them. It turns out that right now, it’s not a thing. Go figure, and oh well.

So I looked up the actors on IMDB and had a look around to see what they’re up to. Of course we all know what the three are doing, Eisenberg, Watson and Harrelson (who just turned 53 by the way), but what about Abigail “Little Rock” Breslin? What is she up to?

She was a little cutie back in 2009’s Zombieland, but that was five years ago. And guess what guys, she’s grown up, become legal, and she’s filled out. Here she is in Zombieland, on the left.

Awww. Here she is at 18.
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Movie Review: Robocop

Hi folks! I just watched the reboot to an awesome movie franchise and I wasn’t happy with it.

End of review.
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Ghostbusters 3

I just got a notification that I had been mentioned in a post about the Ghostbusters, and I did a little research to discover an awesome clay animation version of Ghostbusters 3, as if Quentin Tarantino had done it. It’s really cool and artist Lee Hardcastle did a great job with it. I’d also like to thank Brian Abrams for getting the racism in the movies and throwing a link back to me in the process!

Check out the clay animation short below and make sure to check out Death And Taxes Mag for more greatness!

Movie Review: Venom

Venom is a 2005 American voodoo horror-of-the-demonic film with some actors in it. I’d name them, but there’s nobody in the movie that is going to persuade you to see it. Except Method Man. See my point?

I got this movie in a pack called 19 Horror Movies Value Collection. (Not so) Amazingly, there’s almost no pictures of it online, and finding any info about it is tough. I can’t even find it on Walmart’s website, which is unusual considering I bought it at a Walmart.

19-horror-movies-dvd

I think I only paid something like $5 for it. At most, $9.99. You can get it free, apparently, from Listia.com.

The reason I bought it, quite obviously, is because there’s 19 fucking movies on it for whatever small price I paid. Out of 19, there has to be at least one good movie, right? Still worth what I paid. Plus, it comes with a Halloween movie and Wes Craven’s They. So I know I got a deal.

I’ve had the DVD for a few months now, so tonight I finally decided to give something from it a try. I gave the titles a look over and decided on The Legend Of Sorrow Creek. Now, I figured most of these would be low budget, terrible movies, but I swore I’d give them a good chance. When this started I appreciated the low value. It was like your buddies doing a movie, only slightly better. It had SOME production value, but after about ten minutes I couldn’t take the long, drawn out, barely acted, dialogue-fueled scenes. It just seemed like everybody had to talk, at great length, about what they were going to do, instead of just doing it. And everybody spoke with the same monotone, non-inflected speech. I couldn’t take it, so I don’t know how it turned out.

I then switched it up to Venom and saw that it was made by Dimension and The Weinstein’s, so I figured at least it would have a decent budget and might not be too bad to watch.

Venom takes place in Louisiana and is about voodoo. A voodoo priestess has been collecting the souls of bad people in a suitcase. Those souls, turned into snakes, get loose and attack the local tow truck guy, Ray. He dies, but soon comes back as a zombie serial killer guy. Not like a Dawn of the Dead type zombie, but an actual voodoo zombie.

So, he’s pissed off and he starts killing the local teen population, which is great because they need to die. What you get is a basic slasher movie, and quite frankly there aren’t enough good ones coming out anymore. Personally, I fucking loved it. It’s exactly what I want in a slasher movie.

I read some reviews after watching the movie and can only laugh at them. Reviewers tend to over think what they’re watching. I pulled these, and various other info on the movie from Wikipedia.

Kyle Smith from the New York Post wrote, “Even the undemanding high schoolers the film is aimed at will experience déjà voodoo, as Venom recites the A through Z of horror clichés. All hopes for suspense and plot twists are snuffed out about as quickly as the film’s black characters.”

First of all, there are quite a few black characters in the movie. This does take place in Louisiana, after all. Sure they’re killed in the movie, but so is everyfuckingbody else. One guy, the Sheriff, is just taken out of the movie. I thought I’d see more of him later, but no. His role is over pretty quickly, which is a shame, because I liked him.

Then there’s the young voodoo priestess in training. She survives almost to the end of the movie, which is longer than most of the white characters survived. So I don’t understand where Mr. Smith up there gets off saying the black characters are snuffed out quickly.

Unless he’s saying the suspense and plot twists AREN’T snuffed out quickly, because the black characters aren’t snuffed out quickly. I don’t know. Because honestly, you have a textbook horror flick here. I like horror flicks, and if they’re textbook, then they’re doing it right enough to be enjoyable. And this one is enjoyable. I cheered for Dead-Ray, as he killed all of worthless bastards. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a bad guy to cheer on.

And plot twists? No, I don’t want many of those in a horror movie. They can be nice, but overall I just want to see a bunch of people get murdered, and a decent amount of gore. Mr. Smith, I can only suggest if you want plot twists, go watch some shitty Suspense Thriller I’m sure you get hard over.

Instead of plot twists, I want to see something I didn’t see coming. Not necessarily a twist, just something that kept me glued to the movie. Venom had enough of that. In one scene, two of the kids are running from Dead-Ray through the bayou. Dead-Ray stops running and then sinks down into the water. Suddenly they can’t see him, and all we get to see of Dead-Ray moving through the water is a little wave action. And then suddenly, and quietly, he pops up out of the water.

I wasn’t expecting that, and it was towards the end of the movie. It got an “oh shit!” out of me, and I appreciate that. Dead-Ray had a trick up his sleeve that I wasn’t expecting. Well done.

That Dead-Ray dude was pretty terrifying, and a great bad guy psycho killer. He was definitely intimidating.

There was some shoddy CGI, but otherwise, the whole movie was cool. I think if you’re a fan of horror movies, slashers in particular, you’ll really enjoy this. And if you don’t, go turn on a Suspense Thriller with Kyle Smith and hold each others junk while you watch it.

Hell, I wouldn’t even be opposed to seeing a lower budget, direct to DVD sequel to this. Why the hell not?

I give this 8 of 10 stars.