Movie Review: San Andreas

Today my wife and I had plans to go see Jurassic World with some others, but those others flaked on us so we decided to go see it by ourselves. So we went to a new theater we’ve never been to before and saw San Andreas.

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The theater we went to is an XScape, which turned out to be pretty awesome. Not only can you buy White Castles there (they’re most likely the frozen kind) but you can get as much butter as you want on your popcorn, for free. They even let you dispense it yourself. They have butter stations next to the fountain pop stations, which they also let you get yourself, too.

In the theaters themselves they have reclining seats and tons of leg room. The seats were ultra nice.

Oh, so the movie was good, too. It stars The Rock as he defeats Triple H for yet another title. Then he goes out and saves a bunch of people from dying when the San Andreas fault decides to ruin everybody’s shit.


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Android Game Reviews

These last few months of not having the internet have given me ample time to watch Netflix and play games on my cell phone. I have been playing games on my phone for quite some time, and watching Netflix a lot, for that matter. I just did both more.

All of these games are free to play.


Hill Climb Racing


android-hill-climb-racingThe first game I’m addicted to is Hill Climb Racing by Fingersoft. I’m not sure how my scores are compared to others around the world, but amongst those people I know who play it, I dominate. So if you play and have some high scores, let me know. We’ll compare notes.

Hill Climb Racing is a very easy to play, good for all ages kind of game. You play as Newton Bill, who drives a wide range of vehicles along a wide range of levels. Each level has its unique challenges and difficulty levels, and each car has its own characteristics. Figuring out which vehicle works best on which track for you is essential. You collect coins so you can buy new vehicles and levels, as well as upgrade the vehicles you already own.

HCR is a very addictive side scroller with plenty of achievements for you to achieve. I’ve never had any issues with this game and they update it with new cars and levels regularly. It’s one of Google Play’s top games, and one I highly recommend for a very good time killer.


iMobsters


android-imobstersI’ve been playing iMobsters longer than any other game. I had one account and lost it when I switched phones, but I’ve had my current account since then, through multiple phone changes, and I’m almost done with the levels. It’s a fun game, and the game play is just like that of many other games by Storm8. They just change pictures and words around, and depending on what you happen to be more interested in, you’re sure to find a game you’ll like.

I’m hoping there’s something after the levels are done, cause I don’t know if I’ll keep playing it if there aren’t. And I don’t know if I can handle not playing it anymore.

You spin turns to complete objectives. You buy stuff to make money. You attack other players. It’s heavily based off of those pimp games that were so popular 10 years ago and are still going on today (I used to run one called Cartelz).

My only issue with the game is if you switch devices, you have to go through a lot of bullshit just to continue using your old account on your new phone. It seems to me that it should be a much easier or simpler process than it is, and Storm8 should have figured that out long ago. Still though, it’s worth playing if you feel like possibly killing a few years of your life with it. I’ve literally missed a half dozen days total playing that game in the last 4 or 5 years. I play it every day, religiously. My name there is John Ravioli and my Mob Code is WG4ATP, if you want to add me to your Mob.
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The Epic Return And Other Shit

“Beefy! Just where in the fuckin’ fuckity fuck have you been?!”

Where the fuckin’ fuckity fuck, indeed.

Shortly after I started my new job at a gas station working the graveyard shift, my wife decided she wanted to rearrange our living quarters. This meant moving everything but my computer. The new location for the router was too far away for the cable to plug into it and give it internet, so we had to put it in a different, temporary location, which meant my computer wasn’t going to be able to hook into it until it was in its new permanent location. So I went without internet.

For about four months.

I could have easily rigged something up, but I didn’t want to bother with it. We could have easily went to the store and got what we needed to fix it, which wasn’t much, but we didn’t. And I found the longer I went without internet, the more I didn’t miss it. It got to the point that when we finally did fix the problems and get my computer hooked up, I almost didn’t hook it up.

I was done with Facebook, all of my email accounts, and even blogging. I still used Twitter all the time because I have it on my phone. That was all the internet I needed.

But, I did hook it up and now I’m back. I feel like I have no time to be on it anyway because all it seems I do anymore is work and sleep, but I will try to get all of the blogs written that I’ve been thinking about lately. We’ll see if I can stay awake long enough to hash them out.

Speaking of my job, oh man. I can’t say I don’t like it, because I actually really enjoy my job. But that line from Clerks, “This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers,” is so spot on. It’s almost prophetic.
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Customer Service Tales: The Mexican And The Hundred

I recently quit my pizza job, so there will be no more Delivery Tales from me. Instead, I’ll offer up interesting stories, if any, from my days of working customer service. My new job is doing that very thing at a gas station.

Tonight was only my second night on the register, and was also the beginning of my second week on the job. I only had to ring up a couple of customers, and this story is about one of them. A younger Mexican guy buying gas and beer.

He came up to the counter, set the beer down, and began looking through his wallet. He then mumbled something that I couldn’t quite understand. I tapped the 12 pack with my hand and asked for his ID. He gave me something that looked like an ID, but I had no idea what it was.

I didn’t understand anything on it other than his birthday, and since it said he was of age I accepted it, even though the card looked like he made it himself out of construction paper. He then said again what it was he had mumbled, and I just barely understood him.

Him: mumble
Me: You need twenty on seven?
Him: mumble
Me: Forty?
Him: mumble
Me: Thirty?

That was it. So I rang it all up and told him the total, which was just over forty bucks. He handed me a hundred dollar bill, one of those new ones that would be pretty hard to fake. I looked around for a marker to make sure it was real, even though I had no doubt it was, and couldn’t find one.

So he pulled one out of his pocket and let me use it.

This man, who was dressed like he just got done working some sort of construction job outside, pulled out a money checking marker from his pocket. He just happened to travel around with one at all times. Who the fuck does that? I delivered pizza and didn’t do that.

I marked the bill and the mark, like the marker, was black. The last time I used one of those markers it turned black if the bill was a fake, but was normally brown.

I studied the marker and it said it was a bill checking marker, so I accepted the results it had given me.

To recap, a Mexican came in with an ID that looked fake and terribly made, handed me a brand new $100 bill, and gave me his own money checking marker to check the money he had just given me. How legit is that? And I used his marker to check his money like it wasn’t completely pointless to do so.

I went to hand him back the marker and he told me to keep it.

He had his own money checking marker. Obviously he had a need to have one if he’s carrying one around with him at all times. But he told me to keep it, which means he doesn’t just have one, he’s got more at home. That’s pretty serious shit there. Who the hell needs that many money checking markers? Bankers maybe. Maybe he’s a banker. That sounds legit.

After he left I thought about it and realized I had done something terribly stupid. But I’m new, so whatever. I had been using my trainer’s register, so it was logged in under her name. Our policy is that we have to put all 50’s and 100’s in the safe as soon as we get them, so after I realized what I had done, I gave her the bill and told her to drop it, and she did without a second thought.

They’re pretty laid back at my job, so I’m sure nothing will happen because of that transaction. But if I get deported, cause that would happen, you’ll know why.

UFOs!

It seems very recently I wrote about aliens and whatnot, and here it is in the news. Blink-182’s co-founder, Tom DeLonge, speaks up on E.T. and his beliefs, as well as his crazy involvement with the Government and how he’s on their watch list.

He also seems to have an “I’m smarter than you” attitude in the entire article. Just because he is doesn’t mean he has to flaunt it. Especially when he drops bombs like this one.

“I don’t think we’re working underground with aliens. I don’t think it’s like that, like some dumb conspiracy theorists think.”

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Us dumb ones, we’ll put our aluminum foil hats on our heads and go to our mother’s basements and await the gathering. We’ll just leave it all to you smart fellers to save our hides.

It’s a pretty crazy read, aside from that, and I think he’s on to some shit. Check it out, and know that it might sound crazy, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t, or couldn’t be, true.