Daily Prompt: Nightmare Job

In honor of Labor Day in North America, tell us what’s the one job you could never imagine yourself doing.

Jizz mopper.

Walgreens Update

Original Post 8/19:
I reported here a while back about the Walgreens down the street from me and how some drunken idiot drove his SUV through the store trashing the place.

I also said how the whole thing is suspicious and how I think there’s something more going on with it. Nobody believed me. Well, I’ve watched enough episodes of Psych to know when something looks strange, and this whole scenario looks strange.

The driver just happened to speed over the curb and immediately squeeze his SUV between a big brick sign and a bush, not hitting either, and drive right through the glass doors into the store. Hmmm.

That was back in July, as it happened the night after the fourth. Like, two and a half hours after the fourth was over. The guy was still drunk from his firework partying.

Guess what. The store still isn’t open. Guess what. The signs have all been removed from the building. It’s not going to be reopened.
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Movie Review: Alien Abduction

Someone or something abducted a great movie, and left us with:

Despite the movie being mediocre at best, it has gained itself a 4 star rating on Netflix. I even gave it that. I had to. I wanted to be extremely generous and give it a 3, but my wife loved it, so I averaged it out and gave it a 4. I can only assume everyone who voted on the movie on Netflix had the same issue.

My only problem with it and movies like it is how they start the movie by saying something to the effect of “This is real stuff.” And then within a minute of terrible “acting,” anything just slightly smarter than a rock can tell that it’s NOT real footage.

You can hate me all you want for this statement, but The Blair Witch Project did a better job at being authentic and portraying real people in a real situation than any found footage movie since. We can also thank those fuckers for starting this found footage epidemic.

Some of them I like. The V/H/S movies were pretty fucking awesome. I actually don’t mind The Blair Witch Project too much. Hell, The Last Broadcast is great, until the end. But now, movies like Alien Abduction are starting to really piss me off.

On IMDB it says about the movie, “…in this thriller based on the real-life Brown Mountain Lights phenomenon in North Carolina.” Okay, I can get behind that. I actually liked the movie to a degree, and if it didn’t try to play me as a fool from the beginning, I would be writing a better review. But at the beginning of the movie it says, “The following is actual leaked footage from the US AIRFORCE…”
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Websites That Suck

Here’s looking at you, Western Union.

A buddy of mine just sent me a message on Facebook asking for help. He said he needed money sent to a place in Illinois via Western Union and he was having issues with his phone. As it turned out he was also very tired and didn’t realize he could just call Western Union, and eventually that’s what he did. Which is good, because otherwise the money wasn’t going to be sent. At least not from Western Union’s website.

I’ve never had to deal with that company, and after this experience I hope I never have to again. You see, their website is optimized to allow you to use their service on it. Businesses love having their website do work, because then they don’t have to pay an employee to do that work. The website does it for free. And usually businesses spend lots of money on those websites so that their customers will use them over their competition’s websites.

It’s all about money. You want to stay ahead of the competition, or at the very least, stay up to speed with them. In this world of technology, with everything and everyone online, if you want to have a successful business, you have to have a successful website. ESPECIALLY if you’re a customer service oriented business.

For instance, the pizza place I work for has a website, and customers can use that website to place orders. When the company first implemented that, they pushed it hard to their customers. Hell yeah, if they can have all of their customers ordering online, that frees up the employees in the store to do other shit instead of answering phones. Get more done for the same amount of labor cost.

If a business is going to pump money into an online system that makes their business run better and more cost efficient, they want it to make its money back by working properly. The pizza place I work for, apparently, doesn’t give one atom of a fuck if their online ordering works or not. For the last few months it has been acting up and impossible to use, yet for some reason they haven’t bothered fixing it. It tells all of our customers that we’re out of cheese, and when orders come through it tells us the customers want no cheese on their pizzas. It also tells certain customers they live outside of our delivery range when they’re right down the street from our store.

The point here is, if you’re going to offer your customers your service on your website, make sure that shit works. Western Union, one of the largest businesses in the country who specialize in getting money from one place to another quickly for a nominal fee, also don’t give a shit about their website working.
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Movie Review: Turbo

Last night my wife wanted to watch the Dreamworks movie, Turbo, so I thought I’d review it. Sure, it came out last year, but I recently wrote a review of Pretty Woman, so at least I’m getting closer to NOW with this review.


The movie is about a snail who wishes he could drive a race car. He’s in love with the best race car guy alive at the time, who happens to be French and named “Guy.”

I get that this movie is a cartoon and fiction. But let’s take a look at some things that don’t make much sense.

First of all, he’s a snail. But he operates a TV AND drinks out of a can of soda with a straw. How did he do all that? The straw was two straws stuck together so that they’d reach into the can of soda and down to his mouth. How did he do any of that? He’s a fucking snail.

Second, after he gets juiced, literally, he then takes on all the characteristics of a car. He has lights, an alarm, a stereo. None of that makes sense and it’s unnecessary. It’s only for laughs, of which they got none from me cause I was too busy trying to figure out how the hell any of that would have happened.
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