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Beefy Ecards: Racism

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The Price Of Being Nice

The company I work for has a rewards program, because who the fuck doesn’t nowadays, amirite? This rewards program started sometime around 2004. I was delivering pizzas then for another company than the one I recently left, when it started. Gas was around $4 a gallon here (it’s currently around $2.70) and everyone was pissed off. When this rewards program started, it offered everybody who signed up a five or ten cent discount per gallon, I can’t remember which, and that naturally got everyone to sign up like I did.

That discount only lasted until the end of that summer, but the perks for using it are still going. If you buy so much shit and scan your card, you get free shit. You can also get gift cards for restaurants or free gas. You know how it works, right?

At this point, more than a decade later, the only people who don’t know about the program are those people who moved to the east coast from the west coast or to here from another country, because our gas station is only on the east coast. Hell, we have kids who come in with their own cards. They can actually save money on gas, and they’re not old enough to drive. Excellent.

The point here is, BY NOW, most of the people who regularly shop at any of these stations knows about the card and the rewards program, and they have made up their minds whether they want to have a card or not. Hell, most of the people I ask for their card tell me they left it on their key ring in their car, because most of the people stopping in for stuff other than gas leave their cars running, and thus leave their rewards cards in the car. Kind of pointless to have the fucking thing in the first place, but whatever, that’s their choice.

Now, here’s problem number uno. Recently I was told that I had made a list of employees, company wide, who had fallen below a 50% scan rate of the cards. The memo said something about how we have to make all of our customers aware of the program (I covered this, it has been around for over a decade, everybody fucking knows about it) and that we, as employees, should push it more so that we get above the 50% scan rate per week.

That sounds right. Right? They want their customers to know about the program and to sign up for it. Sure, why not? They have the system in place, they want people to use it.

EXCEPT, for those who absolutely do not want it, like all of those customers who have known about it for over a decade and haven’t got one yet, like all of those customers who give me attitude when I ask if they have one because they’re sick of fucking hearing it and they’re sick of being told how they should get one, like all of those customers who are running late to work and only stopped in for a coffee and don’t want to be bothered, they’re never going to sign up for one. Who do I have left to tell about the program?

Fucking nobody, that’s who.
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Movie Review: The Cobbler (Spoilers)

No, it isn't about pies.

No, it isn’t about pies.

Up until a week ago I had no idea this movie existed, but I saw it listed on Netflix, so I gave it a watch today. It stars Adam Sandler and Steve Buscemi. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Steve Buscemi?

Both of them make this movie great. I think it would work by itself with other actors, but because it was them, especially with their background and chemistry with one another, they made it that much better.

Supporting them, amongst many others who all did great jobs in the movie, were Method Man, the beautiful Dascha Polanco (Orange Is The New Black), Adam’s nephew Jared Sandler, and legend Dustin Hoffman.

I think Method Man should be commended for his acting in this movie. Not only did he have to play an ultra ghetto street shark who made his money illegitimately, he also had to play the complete opposite. To explain:
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Movie Review: San Andreas

Today my wife and I had plans to go see Jurassic World with some others, but those others flaked on us so we decided to go see it by ourselves. So we went to a new theater we’ve never been to before and saw San Andreas.

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The theater we went to is an XScape, which turned out to be pretty awesome. Not only can you buy White Castles there (they’re most likely the frozen kind) but you can get as much butter as you want on your popcorn, for free. They even let you dispense it yourself. They have butter stations next to the fountain pop stations, which they also let you get yourself, too.

In the theaters themselves they have reclining seats and tons of leg room. The seats were ultra nice.

Oh, so the movie was good, too. It stars The Rock as he defeats Triple H for yet another title. Then he goes out and saves a bunch of people from dying when the San Andreas fault decides to ruin everybody’s shit.


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Android Game Reviews

These last few months of not having the internet have given me ample time to watch Netflix and play games on my cell phone. I have been playing games on my phone for quite some time, and watching Netflix a lot, for that matter. I just did both more.

All of these games are free to play.


Hill Climb Racing


android-hill-climb-racingThe first game I’m addicted to is Hill Climb Racing by Fingersoft. I’m not sure how my scores are compared to others around the world, but amongst those people I know who play it, I dominate. So if you play and have some high scores, let me know. We’ll compare notes.

Hill Climb Racing is a very easy to play, good for all ages kind of game. You play as Newton Bill, who drives a wide range of vehicles along a wide range of levels. Each level has its unique challenges and difficulty levels, and each car has its own characteristics. Figuring out which vehicle works best on which track for you is essential. You collect coins so you can buy new vehicles and levels, as well as upgrade the vehicles you already own.

HCR is a very addictive side scroller with plenty of achievements for you to achieve. I’ve never had any issues with this game and they update it with new cars and levels regularly. It’s one of Google Play’s top games, and one I highly recommend for a very good time killer.


iMobsters


android-imobstersI’ve been playing iMobsters longer than any other game. I had one account and lost it when I switched phones, but I’ve had my current account since then, through multiple phone changes, and I’m almost done with the levels. It’s a fun game, and the game play is just like that of many other games by Storm8. They just change pictures and words around, and depending on what you happen to be more interested in, you’re sure to find a game you’ll like.

I’m hoping there’s something after the levels are done, cause I don’t know if I’ll keep playing it if there aren’t. And I don’t know if I can handle not playing it anymore.

You spin turns to complete objectives. You buy stuff to make money. You attack other players. It’s heavily based off of those pimp games that were so popular 10 years ago and are still going on today (I used to run one called Cartelz).

My only issue with the game is if you switch devices, you have to go through a lot of bullshit just to continue using your old account on your new phone. It seems to me that it should be a much easier or simpler process than it is, and Storm8 should have figured that out long ago. Still though, it’s worth playing if you feel like possibly killing a few years of your life with it. I’ve literally missed a half dozen days total playing that game in the last 4 or 5 years. I play it every day, religiously. My name there is John Ravioli and my Mob Code is WG4ATP, if you want to add me to your Mob.
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