I want to be one of the regular customers on the next Netflix commercial. Under me they’ll put my name and how long I’ve been a member. It’ll look like this:
Netflix Member For 7 Months
Non-Netflix Member for 7 Days
“Why is that, Beefy?” you’re now collectively asking me in unison. Because, my friends, Netflix doesn’t like making money.
“Holy shit!” I imagine your collective response to be, again in unison.
Can you imagine a world where one of the worst recessions in the history of man made money is going on, businesses left and right are shutting their doors for good, car manufacturers are going out of business, people are being laid off and fired all over the place, others are losing their homes because they can’t afford to pay on them anymore, yet there is one company willing to stand up against this recession and they will say “FUCK YOU!” to anybody who says in order to be profitable you actually have to bring in money, because they are doing it the old fashioned way. They are DENYING money from customers.
I know, it sounds like a tale of heroics, but in all reality, it’s just dumb. Really, what company says they don’t want to make money? That is literally what Netflix told me.
Up until recently I’ve been unemployed. I used to pay my Netflix with my unemployment card, because it was the only actual bank debit card we had in the house. Now that I’m no longer unemployed, I don’t have any money on that card, so my Netflix payment didn’t go through. Naturally my service stopped.
The other day I logged on to the site and tried using my income tax refund debit card and Netflix wouldn’t take it because it was a prepaid card. I figured that it had to do with the fact that the card in question doesn’t even have my name on it. It’s not a real bank issued debit card, even though it is issued by a bank.
So a couple of days go by and I finally got my first pay check from my new job and I cashed it and loaded it on my Walmart prepaid debit card that I have, which actually has my name and a MasterCard logo on it. It’s also bank issued.
I tried a couple of hours ago to pay my Netflix bill with that card and they declined it, saying again that they do not take prepaid cards.
That’s amazing to me. I can’t believe that a company doesn’t want to take money. I understand that they only want to automatically charge your card every month for service, so that it’s fluid and they are almost guaranteed to get their money each month, no problem. And if a person signs up with a prepaid card, there’s a good chance that the money won’t be on there every month and this current issue arises.
However, this current situation can happen with any card. Obviously. The bank issued card that I WAS using for my account, that they DID accept, ran out of money on it and my bill wasn’t paid.
Do you see the irony there? Of course you do.
And now the biggest problem is, I CAN’T load money onto the debit card that was issued to me by my State’s unemployment agency. That card is to only be loaded by them. I am only allowed to withdraw, not deposit. You see? But with that Walmart prepaid card, I CAN load money onto it whenever I want.
In an ironic twist of events, their own policy just fucked them out of making more money. You know what the best part about all of this is? I’m a nobody loser (soon to be NY Times Best Selling Author nobody loser) who just found a legit flaw in the system of a major corporation. They should be giving me free service for that kind of in-depth detective work.
Instead I had to take the big sacrifice. I had to actually lose my service while trying to pay for it twice, in order to find this out.
But that’s okay, because the video store up the road from me that I used happily for ten years before joining Netflix, takes prepaid cards. Because THEY like making money. What business doesn’t?
I know Netflix doesn’t care. They’re not going to go bankrupt without my money. They probably gained more customers in this last week than they’ve lost. But to me, this is a victory. And that, my friends, is all that matters.