Daily Archives: May 15, 2012

Ode To Popcorn

Oh, popcorn
Oh, how you grow in a field with millions of your tasty relatives
And then how you are picked by machinery or foreign hands,
And processed in a factory
Dried, bagged, shipped
Oh, how I purchase you in a store,
And pop you in the microwave
Oh, popcorn
How you do smell, with your buttery flavor, enticing my taste buds
I hear you popping, but I cannot see you
I only see the bag filling up
And then I wait for the three seconds of silence to pull you from the microwave
Your pop slows, finally there’s silence
One Mississippi, two Mississippi, and then there on the third Mississippi
I hear a pop
Now I am confused
Do I pull you out and eat you?
Or let a few more of your kernels pop
As I wait for three more seconds of silence?
Oh, popcorn
How I love thee, so I will not wait
Because I do appreciate those half-popped kernels, with their tasty crunchiness
Now my fingers smell of your buttery flavor
And I shall be reminded of you all night long
Oh, popcorn

Directv Sucks

I’ve never had Directv, or satellite of any kind for that matter, but I have no desire to. As much as I hate cable, and here where I live I only have one choice for a cable provider, I’d still rather pay an arm and a leg for cable than deal with no TV when it rains or snows.

I’ve known three people in my life who have had satellite and all three eventually switched back to cable. Their reason? They didn’t like having no TV when it rained or snowed either.

Now, Directv has these commercials out that are all pretty funny in and of themselves, but they’re not going to make me get Directv. Even more so, they’re lying to themselves and us. Check this one out.

The commercial is funny, and all of their commercials along these lines are funny. The problem is, they’re expecting us to believe that if nothing is on cable, something is on satellite. The only problem is, both cable and satellite have the same fucking channels, and those channels don’t care how you view them, they’re going to show the same shows at the same times no matter how you view.

What they COULD be saying is, don’t pay too much for cable if nothing is going to be on. So go with Directv and pay less to have nothing to watch. That’s really what they’re saying.

No thank you. Personally, I’d rather pay too much for cable with the hopes that if it is raining or snowing out, I’ll still be able to watch whatever happens to be on. However, Directv, keep coming out with those commercials. They’re much better to watch than the ones Time Warner has been showing non-stop for the last month.

Speaking of that, I hate Time Warner. They’ve monopolized the cable industry here and I have no choice for cable. None of us here do. We’re forced to pay what they want us to pay, and naturally it’s way too much. But there are no other options, so we’re stuck with it.

However, I think if you have cable or even satellite, you shouldn’t be forced to watch their commercials. What’s the point in advertising on your own broadcast for your product?

I know the real reason… the fact that those “cable” channels are also broadcast on satellite. So technically they’re advertising to those who are with their competitor. No matter, I still don’t care. I’m sick of seeing Time Warner’s cable commercials while I’m watching Time Warner Cable.

Basically, something needs to happen to give all of us something better at a decent price.